Queer Culture at Kwena

Here are my “Diary” Entries for the Queer Speak Out Workshop I attended at Kwena Lodge just outside Potchefstroom on the weekends of 26-28 April and 04-05 May. This Workshop was hosted by GALA (Gay and Lesbian Memory in Action) and my friends John Marnell and Gabriel Hoosain Khan were the facilitators.

On Day 1                                                                                                 Friday, 26 April 2013
In typical Drag Queen Fashion I was horrendously late even after waking up at 5 in the morning just to do my Make-up. I still had to drive from Carletonville to go pick-up workshop participants in Ikageng Township. When finally reaching Ikageng stadium I saw a cluster of Lesbians waiting patiently for me. I think they were surprised to see a Drag Queen or Transgender Woman or whoever come pick them up as the look on their faces was a combination of shock and amusement.

On the way to Kwena Lodge, where the workshop would be held, Gabriel Khan from GALA phoned me to say his car had died. So the “Dreg Kween” came to the rescue doing a U-turn and speeding down the highway to find her friends. Luckily I had a huge tank for a bottle of water for Gabe’s car (Hunny Drag Queens always come prepared) which was busy overheating and we slowly drove to Kwena.

We opened the workshop with an intro group “game” just to introduce ourselves and to break the ice.

After Dropping everyone off at Kwena Lodge, Gabe had his car towed to a motor repair place and needed a lift to get back from Town. The tow truck guy was Afrikaans and was blushing from ear to ear when meeting Carla the Drag Queen. When we stopped at the car repair place the motor mechanics were dubiously surprised that a woman was looking under the car with a flashlight and asking them many “uncomfortable” questions to find out exactly what’s wrong. Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean I am helpless when it comes to fixing cars! LOL Girl Power!

When we came back from town the workshop was in full swing and I had to catch up with what makes a good story and the topics in the LGBTI community that are not really being written about or neglected in the Media.

One of the First Writing Exercises we did was to write a short piece of anything that would tell the reader more about ourselves on the back of a Postcard. Each person had to read somebody else’s postcard and the results were quite interesting. Some people decided to open up their lives to a very personal degree.

Lunch was Lasagne and here one of the girls made such a fuss over having her favourite food that it is here where everybody gave her the nickname “Lasagne”.

After Lunch we played a few games which made us think about Gender and sexual diversity as well as inequalities in our society. One of the most profound moments we had was when the group was asked to stand in a line and either move backwards or forwards depending on the questions that would be asked. Questions were asked like: “if you are a female, move backwards”; “if you are white take a step forward”; “if you are transgender take a step backwards”; “If you own a car step forward”; “have you ever been discriminated against”; “if you have a computer at home, move forward”. Question after Question, some people kept moving backwards and one or two kept moving forward. The end result was shocking but when thinking about it a reality. John, our facilitator, who is a white male from Australia, was right in front with Godfrey, a black male a little behind him. At the back though were gender non-conforming black Lesbians. In the middle was me, a transgender woman together with some Lesbians. My throat was in a ball of a knot and I was fighting the tears damming up behind my Mascara. Despite biologically being a white male I was still as disadvantaged as my Lesbian sisters for being transgender. A not-so-pleasant reality “klap” (slap). Gabe asked us how we felt about the arrangement and I said I was quite depressed.

We also learnt about the inverted pyramid structure which basically teaches any writer to prioritise the most important information which establishes the Who; What; When; Where; How; Why etc. then the important details and then some background information. John explained that in the old days at Newspapers articles were physically chopped with a pair of scissors to make them shorter and that is where the term “ending up on the newsroom floor” probably came from. It’s because of this that journo’s would write the most important or juiciest information first.

Day 2                                                                                                       Saturday, 27 April 2013 (Freedom Day)

I was once again dressed like a real Madam. I heard that there would be a Drag Show that night hosted by Harper Lockheart and Tina LaBelle so I was quite curious and excited the whole day in anticipation of the Drag Show, in Potch of all places! The workshop dealt with the kind of angle one could follow with an article or a story. The question was would we be writing about people, Places, The Past, Activism, Figures and statistics? We played an interesting game where we were given an “Angle Cube” by John and threw it like a dice. Each person had a turn and with a given picture slide had to explain how they would go about writing a story from a certain angle.

Workshoppers also had a chance to show off their acting skills when they had to act out 2 scenarios. The one scenario was a Young Lesbian Girl who was coming out to her mother and the other a Nurse who refused to give a lesbian an HIV test believing that Lesbians do not get HIV. I must say that the most hilarious act was that of “Nurse Rose” AKA Thabang who told the Lesbian wanting to come for an HIV test: “Go to Hell and get tested there”. At that moment we were in tears with laughter but in real life there are actually Nurses and other healthcare professionals out there who believe Lesbians do not get HIV. One of the questions I posed to the Nurse character was “How would you react if you found out that months later this lady had died?” Her Answer: “She could get tested somewhere else” Often community clinics are one of the few places LGBTI people can go to when facing such a Dilemma.

We learnt about News leads and how the First Sentence of any Article was most critical to lead a reader’s attention and interest to the rest of the Article or story.

Show time had finally arrived. We were of course some of the First People to arrive after a group of Afrikaans Moffies and their Fag Hags who we later found out to be more Drag Hags. Harper Lockheart and another Diva came tapping into the “Lapa” (Thatch Roof /House) with their sky high stiletto heels. They both looked gorgeous and it would actually be the first official time that I would see them show as a Diva Duo. Harper was very glad to see me and introduced me to Tina LaBelle, a very refined African Queen with a very articulate manner about her and a Big Personality. Although she didn’t have the big hair to go with the big personality I was already beginning to like her. The girls needed at least two extra numbers to be performed with their show and so they asked me to Perform. I offered to do two items and impromptu work is where I perform best because anything goes and although I only had the one outfit I had to make it work.

Trickle by Trickle Couples of Lesbians came dripping in and soon the place was filled to near capacity. Earlier in the day while inspecting the Lapa to see what’s inside I saw a beautiful silver pair of rather high stiletto heels encrusted with bling. After thinking that Harper had left the heels there from her last show I was informed by her that they were left there by someone who was at a lesbian wedding two weeks prior. I thought that whoever’s heels this was surely wouldn’t mind me borrowing them for the show as I was wearing my glitter pumps and my other, rather uncomfortable, black heels were lying in the Car.

The show started and both Tina and Harper belted out the Diva Ballads one by one.  Harper sang Cher’s “Woman’s World” and asked all the Ladies to come to in front of the stage to dance a bit during the song. Tina gave a Stunning Performance of Proud Mary (Rollin on the River) and it is at that Point that I knew there are few Queens who can do Tina like Tina LaBelle. Harper performed the ultimate Ballad from Celine Dion, none other than “my heart will go on” from Titanic. With all the Diva-ing the audience was quite shocked to see me as this sexy vixen who unexpectedly stood up from the audience to take a shot of tequila from the bar, strip her heavy winter coat off and render Madonna’s “Girl Gone Wild” while making Love to an unsuspecting Chair and swinging around the Lapa’s poles. I later saw my wrists were grazed. The tequila took all sorts of pain away I guess. While taking a seat a shortish lady with Glasses came up to me and asked me: “Can I please have my heels back”. She was talking about the heels I borrowed! LOL How embarrassing but I quickly pulled myself together and asked her to borrow them for just one more performance and then she would get them back. No Problem.

Day 3                                                                                                       Sunday, 28 April 2013

A certain group of people who had of course stayed behind to watch the Drag Show were badly hung-over, quiet and very sensitive to sunlight, in fact any kind of light. I wasn’t dressed up at all, just in comfort mode wrapped up in my Zebra Crossing Scarf. No Heels, No Bling, No Make-up. It was a Sunday after all. There is a chapel at Kwena lodge so a local LGBTI church group was having service. I realised that Kwena was actually a hub for many different events in Potch for the local LGBTI community. Workshops to learn, Drag Shows and “Sokkies” (Dances) to Party and Church to keep everyone on the “straight” and narrow.

We were given the opportunity to take some photos with either a camera or a camera phone just to practice our thoughts and ideas visually. Here’s one of mine:

Lunch was Hamburgers. One of the rather eager guys, Godfrey AKA Sean was quite happy to feast on 3 Hamburgers and was seen disappearing to the Kitchen on a number of occasions to, ahem “resample” his food. It is here that I gave him the nickname “burger king”. It seems that some people in the workshop had now been given food nicknames. “Lasagne”, “Burger King”, “Muffin Queen” (Vuyo who clearly liked the Breakfast Muffins) and Burger Butch. Godfrey was in tears, laughing, when hearing about “Burger Butch”.

We had quite an intensive discussion on photos in Journalism. Images and videos are a way of expression and activism and can many times bring a message home which can be even more effective than just an article. One of the most powerful examples of activism was a campaign by the South African organisation POWA (People Opposing Woman Abuse): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BW30WslahMc

Day 4                                                                                                        Saturday, 04 May 2013

A week had gone by and I actually started missing the crowd from the workshop. I bumped into Chris, one of the owners of Kwena Lodge. I found out that Chris comes from the same home Town as I.  Chris told me that he went to Wonderfontein High School and I asked him if he knew my Dad who taught maths and science there? Chris asked me if my Dad was short with Dark hair and said that my Dad was incredibly intelligent. Yep, that’s my Dad. What Chris forgot to mention though was that my Dad was and still is Sport Crazy.

At the end of the Day everyone decided to go home, no more staying for any partying. Gabriel, who calls himself an “Afrikanerphile”, wanted to get something to eat in town. We went to “Die Bult” and I tried to explain to Gabriel and John what exactly a “Bult” is. A hill of sorts, the opposite of a Dip, a raised area? I just couldn’t get a good enough explanation in English. After walking up and down we settled for “Die Akker” (The Acorn). The menus were in Afrikaans so it took some time to translate everything. If one wants a crash course in Afrikaans I guess taking someone to an Afrikaans restaurant might be a good start. The waiter was quite a hot “boerseun” (Farmer boy? LOL) and I had a feeling this guy was into Rugby but didn’t want to make it too obvious.

After Ordering Bobotie, a Cape Malay Inspired Traditional Afrikaans Dish, Gabriel and I started talking about his beard and one of my past lives as an industrial design student. John told me about how restaurants in some countries he visited were automated and how one could choose food off a touch screen and the waiters would just bring it when ready. Gosh I need to Travel. John is a vegetarian by the way and it was through him that I realised what a Carnivorous country we actually live in.  Black people just can’t understand John’s “tendency” to not like meat. To not like a nice “Chisa Nyama” (Barbeque) with that Pap and Gravy in a Country like South Africa is just unthinkable. It seems that as some sort of interesting consolation poor old John had been stuffed with lots and lots of Cheese. John told me that since a child he always had a dislike for meat and together with the knowledge of certain rather cruel farming Practices he just couldn’t have his McDonalds anymore thinking that at one point it did moo.

There was no Bobotie and the Chicken Pie that was ordered ended up a glorified sandwich with chunks of Chicken. Not the “Boerekos” (Traditional Afrikaans Food) one would expect at such a joint. Disappointing. Somehow we ended up talking about vegetarian options for “Boerekos” and how many dishes actually contained copious amounts of sugar like Sweet Quince, Sweet Carrots, Sweet Pumpkin and Pumpkin Cookies with their own Syrupy sauce drizzled over them.

We paid a visit to the “Mystic Boer” which is based in one of the oldest houses in Potch where quite a lot of Students hang out. Then there was Midknights, quite a culture shift from a predominantly Afrikaans setup to a more Afro House Setup. I liked the music here and I was even being chatted up by a guy who is originally from my home town.

Day 5                                                                                                       Sunday, 05 May 2013

As Sundays go most of us were incredibly “Babbelas” (Hung-over) and tired but we came to the workshop to lick our Partying wounds. We started the day where we had to take one of our stories that we had written and make a short Facebook and twitter ad as a way of creating interest in our articles so that people would want to read more.

When we had finished writing our “adverts” we were divided up into groups and asked to share our ads. One of the members in my group had written a piece before of the physical experiences she has as a Lesbian and gosh things got quite steamy especially when mentioning that she doesn’t like D*** but P****. While I was laughing like crazy all of a sudden Thabang and Thato jumped up threatening each other and getting physical to the point where heavy wrought iron chairs went flying. The two rowdy lesbians were taken outside to finish what they had started.

The rest of us sitting in shock had gone quiet. Almost immediately Gabe started asking us questions on what happened. Although everyone was unresponsive and rather asking each other what the hell happened we answered question upon question until the full Who; What; When; Where; How; was established. Before Thabang and Thato were brought back into the Workshop venue something told me that this was all an act and despite telling everyone else that especially Thabang is a good actress they didn’t believe me.

We were told to ask Thato and Thabang questions as to what exactly happened and despite trying to keep their act they showed hints of smiles. It was an act. This exercise had taught us that it is actually quite difficult to ask people the right questions in an interview for a news article to get the right, never mind juicy, information out of them. Considering that a good interview should have only 4 Questions, these questions need to be good ones.

It was the end of the Workshop and I took a moment to stand outside and just take everything in for one last time. I knew that I shouldn’t get too sad at the end of an event in my life as great moments turn into great memories.

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What I took away from this experience:

In the Closing Game of the Workshop we were asked what we appreciated the most about the workshop.

• I appreciated the fact that I could learn more about other people’s experiences and backgrounds.
• I appreciated the fact that we had a safe environment to work in.
• I appreciated the fact that we could open up about our lives without any judgements.
• I appreciated this platform and opportunity to be able to write about the things I like. You.

Reclaiming Joburg Pride

This Blog was to be released earlier but I had to attend follow-up discussions to see a bigger picture and hear out different perspectives:

On 3 April 2013 Joburg Pride released the following announcement:

“The board of Joburg Gay Pride Festival Company (JGPFC) has voted to wind up the Section 21 (not-for-profit) company that has produced Joburg Pride over the past seven years. JGPFC was voluntarily wound up by unanimous resolution at a board meeting held on Wednesday, 13 March 2013. As such, the Joburg Gay Pride Festival Company will cease operation from 26 April 2013.”

Just like with the 1in9 Campaign Pride incident last year; Facebook, Twitter and other social media were set ablaze with people’s comments of sadness and just plain outrage. Soon after a “concerned Citizen” by the name of Kevin Van Zyl started a facebook page called “JHB Pride – Let’s get organised” which as the page’s description states:

“A Community based consolidated page, creating a single point of contact while a new Pride Board is elected.”

I was quite mystified as to who the other individuals were who were behind this and it soon emerged that the socialite Monique Walker was one of them. Quite hefty debates happened on the above page where I tried to explain that one cannot just look at the organising aspect of Pride but also the message it conveys and how inclusive Pride really will be at the end of the day.

A community meeting was organised by the people who had launched the above page and was held in Melville, Joburg on the 6th of April which was apparently interrupted by participants who were later found to be 1in9 and Forum for the Empowerment of Women (FEW) members. Their argument was that this meeting had to be postponed and held only after the workshop they were hosting the following weekend so that people could discuss issues and challenges properly before even considering appointing a Pride Board. People were already being asked here by “Let’s get Organised” whether they would volunteer to be on the next Pride Board and it is here where activists (not-so) eloquently put on the brakes!

Thank goodness it took too long for me to do my make-up that Sunday otherwise I would’ve wasted my Petrol Driving all the way from Carletonville to Joburg only to find out that the meeting was disbanded. So instead I went in full regalia to KFC and made a Church lady so Jealous as she gave me such a dirty look. Hunny It wasn’t my plan to outshine anybody, I only wanted to get a Choc Avalanche and a Family Pack and get the hell out of there!

On 13 April my Partner Petrus and I attended the much talked about community meeting slash workshop hosted by what seemed to be various activists, the 1in9 Campaign, Forum for the Empowerment of Women (FEW) and the Coalition for African Lesbians. Everyone was welcome and people from different backgrounds, Races, Genders, Orientations came together to talk about what they felt about Joburg Pride. Ground-breaking Stuff.

The workshop started at 11 am but participants first had their go at some struggle songs, some against Zuma. Let’s not forget that 1in9 were the people who had been protesting at Jacob Zuma’s Rape Trial back in the day and knowing this, one can understand why these feminists can get quite vicious if  addressed in a Patriarchal way. Think 10 Ladies protesting rape at a trial where there were thousands of Zuma Supporters!

My man and I went to look for a seat and decided to go sit second row from the front. Felt like I was going to church where the so-called “biggest believers” were sitting in the front and the ones still suffering from ‘Babbalas’ (Hangover) at the back. Quite interesting to note that the biggest skeptics of supporting Joburg Pride (failing quite bismally trying to hide this) were in fact sitting in their factions at the back. There was no shame when a member of 1in9 or FEW was introduced with happy-Clappy fanfare and Struggle Song.

The meeting started with a video of the Late Activist Simon Nkoli as well as another lesbian Activist stating the collective will of the SA LGBTI  community at the time of the very First Joburg Pride. A very slim woman with funky half shaven haircut came to sit right in front of me, a little voice inside told me: ‘that’s Carrie Shelver.’ Carrie Shelver is an activist who herself has served on the Joburg Pride Board in the Past and who has become quite an avid supporter of the 1in9 Campaign. The emotion on Carrie’s face of sheer bliss was what I was beginning to feel when watching this Vid. The Activist Bev Ditse could not make the meeting due to work commitments but had made a video interview to explain her viewpoint on the whole Pride debacle.

We were divided up into groups and asked to firstly discuss:

Problems (let’s be PC) or challenges we found with Joburg Pride

* First and Foremost, the Pride Parade needs to be specifically referred to as a March. The very first Joburg Pride that was held was originally a Protest March on Queer Rights and issues. Although everybody did agree that we shouldn’t neglect a celebration, this celebration should not overpower opportunities and platforms for true activism.

Much debate went around whether the March should be a Pure protest March with people holding banners, placards and singing struggle songs and whether we should include floats and costumes as well. It was also noted that white-centred businesses and organisations had overpowered the floats when it came to the March but I personally think this can be due to income inequalities where businesses and organisations whose target market is people of colour do not have the funds to pay for such extravagant floats. What few people realise is it costs a lot of money just to hire the truck that moves a large float not to mention even more money to decorate a decent float.

* Joburg Pride just like many other events has been a representation of some of the inequalities we face in South Africa. Income, Gender, Race, Inequalities that need to be both addressed and accommodated. Comment was given whereby in south Africa there is heavily being focussed on celebration, we celebrate different Public Holidays but are these days truly used to address issues of inequalities in our country?

When looking at the fun aspect of Pride things seemed to be racialised and divided on the lines of Class:

* Entertainment on the Stage is not diversified enough. DJ’s, Performing Acts, Celebrities etc are “white” orientated and catered little for other Race groups. In my viewpoint a Pride Board that was mostly white had a frame of reference which was well, mostly white so it is no wonder that who appeared on the stage with Pride Day was mostly catering for the white crowd.

*There has been too much focus on entertainment and too little on education not just on the Stage but with most of the official events leading up to the Pride Day.

*Booze was too expensive! Many people who came to Pride just couldn’t afford the prices of Booze. I have to admit there have been a Pride or Two where I have smuggled booze in my Car boot (especially as a student) and snuck out to my “mobile bar” for a swig or two of something that could make me a little more intoxicated than overpriced water. Talking about water: many people ( once again including myself) developed the strategy of taking Squeedgy Bottles laced with clear alcohol into the Pride venue. The Pride Board probably got wind of this notion and soon people were not allowed to take water into the Pride festival venue at all and any water bottles were confiscated at the gate by security. So now people were forced to buy something as basic as water!

* The fence surrounding the Pride Festival Venue separates the Have’s from the Have nots. Many people especially Africans are forced to enjoy the Pride festivities outside the Pride venue as they cannot afford all the niceties on the inside. Outside in the Zoo Lake Picnic area they are faced with limited and not so clean ablution facilities and areas which are not as safe.

One of the Arguments with the separation of the have’s with the have-nots was that it was as a result of class inequalities as well as racism by both certain Pride Goers and organisers alike. Let’s face it many of my African Friends have complained to me how uncomfortable they were made to feel in certain clubs in Joburg and it seems that this sentiment has been echoed at the Pride Festival venue itself.

* Pink Money had not really been discussed. It serves to mention though that despite having pink coins left after Pride it was much safer to carry plastic tokens around than cash. The downside has been that queues were long just to purchase the tokens. Many people do not understand the issue with Pink money as Music Festivals and large events across the world use a similar system.

Location, Location, Location

* Rosebank is not Central enough. For years people have been complaining that to get to Pride they have to take 2-3 Taxis as they do not have their own transport. In a country like South Africa not everybody has their own car as it is quite expensive to buy and maintain one. Many people including myself take this (let’s call it what it is) privilege for granted and do not realise that others have to use a very unreliable public transport system.

* Rosebank is not Joburg. Although Rosebank tries to embody the culture of Joburg it mostly caters for the elite.

* The Pride March route is an important decision and needs to be a political and activism one as well as going back to historic Roots. Activists have approached the Pride Board before making the suggestion that Pride be moved to Soweto as it is still one of the places where the struggle against the oppression of LGBTI people is an ongoing battle. The Pride Board simply replied in the past that the townships are not a safe place to host a Pride event of such a scale. It is most likely one of the reasons why activists  and Organisations decided to start Soweto Pride anyway.

*Another issue was with Visibility. How much attention did Joburg Pride really get in a Place like Rosebank where most of the “Parade” route was lined with high suburban walls? Not much if you think about it. Pride is a way of showing the world that the Queer community cannot be silenced and have their place in society as well. The more exposure Pride gets the more exposure the Queer Community together with it’s issues gets.

The Joburg Pride Board

Another big question: how can seven people organise an event of such a magnitude and not get something wrong somewhere?  When I had written about Joburg Pride before I had said that the Pride board was responsible for making many what are actually critical decisions: Who gets a Stall; Who gets to have their float in the Parade, ahem, March; Which DJ’s play music; what music gets played etc etc. In my opinion the Joburg Pride Board had been focusing way too much on the Commercial and Party/Celebration aspect of Pride and very often neglected the activism side of things. Year on year the board, without much public input mind you, selected a theme which had a bit of a message to it but it ended more like a dress up theme than a proper campaign which could raise proper awareness on a issue like gender based violence, Rape, Discrimination, etc.

Sponsors

A term I heard before but did not get so friendly with was “Pink-Washing”. Basically it’s when a Corporate Sponsor Shows support of an LGBTI cause or event but behind the scenes may either be exploiting or oppressing LGBTI people. When a Corporate Sponsor gives money to an organisation it often wants something in return like advertising or Marketing Potential. Together with that comes a whole lot of other Wishes and requests which combined with those of other Sponsors seem to start to fiddle with what Pride should be. So instead of having a Pride that is according to what the people want you end up with a Pride that is what the Sponsors Want: Commercial. It’s like good music, has it’s own uniqueness but when it goes commercial it all goes down the drain. Could it not be possible to find other ways of Sponsoring an event like Pride?

Visions for Pride and Possible Avenues going forward:

* The worst case scenario would be that Joburg Pride remains cancelled and that other Prides like Soweto pride be strengthened and supported better. Many people including myself would not want to see this happen BUT there is a concern amongst many activists and individuals that if we do not take the time and properly interrogate the issues that have been making people unhappy that the organising Process as well as Pride itself will fall back into the old way of doing things like the old Pride Board did.

* It has been suggested that Joburg Pride be moved back to the Johannesburg CBD to the historic Route it followed back in the 90’s. Last year I had strongly contested this as there was an issue of safety for me. Now here is an interesting spin on the matter of Location. If Joburg Pride were to be held in the city Centre there could not be a more visible place to give Pride the best exposure both to the general public and to the media. Where do most of the big civil rights entities like the ANC Women’s League and the Coalition of South African Trade Unions (COSATU) make the boldest statements? Right in the heart of the city.

Secondly activism is not always about comfort Zones. When one addresses issues on race, gender, income and sexuality adequately you are often not in a comfort zone. Sure many people have noted in the past where objects had been thrown from high-rise buildings injuring pride goers but what had that meant? That the Queer community had made other people think, made them properly aware that as a community we are defiant. Defiance was what Simon Nkoli and his fellow Queers were showing with the very First Pride. Defiance against Homophobia and inequality.

* Joburg Pride could possibly rotate on a yearly basis to a different venue or ultimately that joburg pride becomes a bigger umbrella event where different Prides are held simultaneously or as part of the run up to the main Pride in Joburg.

* The fence surrounding the Joburg Pride venue needed to be removed but at the same time a fence would still be needed to protect everyone. So obviously a bigger fence would be needed, Duh. What I think is that the Joburg Pride event had become too big for even the Zoo lake venue to handle and that this issue had to be addressed long ago.

* Why could Joburg Pride not be a week long event with the Big March culminating on the Saturday? Many events could be held which would include educational events like Public debates, Seminars etc. running together with fun events like Parties and get-togethers.

*The Joburg Pride event needs to launch an all inclusive campaign where everybody whether, sponsors, Pride Goers, Activists, Government, Local Businesses and organisations can take part in. With the March even people need to do something in unison which is highly creative to make a collective bold statement on the theme or a specific issue which needs to be addressed. I made quite an interesting example while debating this same issue on Facebook:  Last year, hundreds of Pink Umbrellas were sold to the public and the only functions it seems they served were to obviously protect the Crowd from the elements and to make pretty Photos. What if for instance the umbrellas had a special message attached to them which elaborated on issues like Rape, income inequality, Abuse and exploitation of Queer People? What if people were asked to give these umbrellas away to especially “straight” people? Would that not have served as a creative means of activism?

* Instead of Glossing over our differences or trying to romanticise inequalities with a more “Friendlier” term like “Diversity” we should all actively engage in and debate over our differences. Pride is a melting pot where many different people come together and such an opportunity to possibly be able to learn something from other people who are different to ourselves cannot be wasted. By exploring our differences we learn and grow more and in the end be able to understand each other better.

It would be quite easy for some to criticise FEW or 1in9 for trying to hi-jack Joburg Pride or saying that they would rather see Pride remain disbanded and have all resources, support and of course visitors to JHB Pride redirected to Soweto, Kwa-Thema or other Prides. Let’s face it, Soweto Pride even last year was not as well attended as any activist or organiser would’ve wished. If one were to look at the 20000 visitors to JHb pride Last year then it would seem ‘natural’ for Soweto or other Pride organisers to want a hefty slice of that Joburg pride Visitors Cake. There is however a difference here: FEW and 1in9 had started a long overdue conversation on the things that bother people about Pride, where things can improve and where not just Pride but the Queer Community as a whole could Grow. The Previous Pride Board had ignored such discussions and look what has happened.

Middle Ground

As one of the Activists had put it at the Workshop:

* If there are people who don’t want to have pride this year, then let them be.

*  If there are people who want to carry on organising Pride even though there is not much time left, let them.

* If there are people who want to sort out the issues that have been affecting Pride for Years and only have Pride next year, then let them be.

What I take away from this:

* Joburg Pride is more than a Parade, Celebration or Party, it is supposed to also be a platform for everyone to raise awareness on serious issues which cannot be ignored but which need to be addressed.

* Organising Joburg Pride is a matter of balance.  I cannot focus on certain aspects of Pride and ignore others because I am in my own comfort zone.

* There is nothing wrong with celebrating my Queer identity but I need to be mindful of my Brothers and Sisters who are not as fortunate as I am.

* Pride, as well as the Queer Community need to grow and with growth comes change. Change is not always comfortable but there is the saying: “if you aren’t hurting, you aren’t growing” it’s a tough process but when that growing is done with we can always have a party to celebrate real achievements.

Dramatic Poses with Photographer Shaun Smith

After having the photo shoot for GLIBIT’s show group DroGue I wanted to know more about our Photographer Shaun Smith who I met through Starr Fawker.

Shaun is actually a sweety and has some great creative ideas of his own which he didn’t mind sharing with us which made our shoot even more of a success!

I caught up with Shaun and asked him what it takes to be a Great Photographer:

For how long have you been a Photographer?

“More than 13 years.”

What is the most challenging or interesting subject matter you have had to photograph?

“I have done many different and challenging shoots but one that stands out is an accident scene I had to cover when I was still starting out as a freelance newspaper photographer. On my way back from an accident scene in the former Transkei, a huge rock hit my petrol tank and I almost ran out of fuel at night in the middle of no-where.”

I see that you have shot a lot of famous celebrities and influential people, could you name me a few?

“I don’t keep record of celebs and political leaders that I’ve shot but the ones that come to mind is: Nelson Mandela, Ryk Neethling, Natalie du Toit, Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, Sonja Haroldt, Hannon Bothma, Iman, David Tlale, Kelly Khumalo, Sello Maake Ka-Ncube, Pabi Moloi, Sophie Ndaba, Debora Patta, Ian von Memerty, Mark Boucher, etc.”

To be quite honest when one goes and looks at Shaun’s Portfolio, the list of glitterati he has photographed is actually Staggering!

Here is a selection of only some of the fantastic work he does:

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Shaun does quite a Diverse range of  Photography work, from Fashion, Editorial for Articles, Magazine Covers, Model Portfolios, Family Portraits, Weddings, Baby and Toddler, Food, Commercial and Corporate, Arty Farty, YOU NAME IT!

How would you react if a Celebrity is like such a Diva and is giving you a hard time during a shoot?

“Touch wood, I’ve never had problems in the past. I handle them with care. Diva-like-celebs want all the attention and everything needs to be about them, so I bite the bullet, make them feel as comfortable as possible and shoot to finish.”

What advice would you give to someone who would just like to do a photo shoot for fun?

“Visit my website [www.studioski.co.za], see if you like my work, make a booking, bring extra wardrobe (if you want) and let’s shoot.”

Briefly, What kind of Preparation usually needs to go into a professional shoot?

“99,9% of the time I’m prepared. Batteries need to be fully charged and memory cards need to be clean. My equipment usually travels with me. If the studio or location, make-up artist and stylists have been arranged and I’ve been briefed, we’re ready to go!”

Shaun, you seem to be very well-connected in the Magazine and Fashion industry, what advice can you give an aspiring photographer in building up a good name?

“You must be a nice person to work with, think out of the box, build a great portfolio and your work must improve every time you shoot.”

Just for Curiosity, Has anybody ever asked you to slip in some “naughty” Pics of themselves with their Shoot? What did you do?

“Yes. If the client pays for the shoot, I have no problem what happens in front of camera, as long as they don’t involve me and keep it professional.”

If I was a photographer I don’t know how I would react if I had to do a nude shoot with a client. Probably with a lot of Booze, Vodka, Yes, LOTS of Vodka!

It was such a pleasure working with Shaun and I can’t wait for the work I’ll be doing with him in Future . A glamour Portfolio should definitely be in the pipeline somewhere!

Here is DroGue’s Class of 2013 Photo:

DroGue Class of 2013 and Beyond!
Back: Irish Palo, AKA Rishana, Jodian Van Aarde
Middle: Drikus Knoetze, Harper Lockheart, Carla De Bouchet, Petrus Beets
Front (Sitting): Starr Fawker, Shaun Smith

Behind the Scenes of GLIBIT Show Group: Smoke, Drag and Action!

All Photos and Pic Collage compliments of Jodian Van Aarde

On 10 February, GLIBIT the Advocacy and Awareness Network held it’s first photo shoot for a show group it will be launching soon.

Among the participants were Harper Lockheart and her Dancer friend Drikus Knoetze both from the Paper Dolls, Starr Fawker, myself, Jodian Van Aarde , my Partner Petrus, my new PA Moira Grant as well as my good friend Irish. Our Photographer was Shaun Smith owner of Studióski but you will get to hear more about this guy in my next blog.

Irish

Irish is one of my good friends from my Home Town of Carletonville who recently moved to Joburg. Irish is quite the socialite. We needed a ‘Beyonce’ for our show group who can bring in some African sexiness into the mix so that’s why Irish was asked to be both a male dancer and a Queen for the Group. The only problem was that we had to now find a Drag name for Irish. After much brainstorming the answer was actually quite simple. Irish loves Rihanna, no hold on, Idolises Rihanna. He is in fact  like an admiral in Rihanna’s navy. So I thought, if Irish and Rihanna had to have a Baby, what would the baby’s name be? Rishana. Okay, okay not as original but Rishana likes it.

And here we see the Birth of a Drag Diva! (Although she was one long before she put the dress on) Irish might kill me for this one but he loves his friend too much! LOL

Harper Lockheart

Harper hails from the famous Paper Dolls Show group whose main show residence is at Amuse Cafe in Linden, Johannesburg.

Harper may look like a shy girl however she is everything but. She says that when she started out with Drag she was almost like the “Sharon Needles” of the South African Drag scene with her very dominatrix look. In corporate attire with a pencil skirt Harper looks like a naughty school teacher who won’t just stick to rulers but may discipline any naughty boys with a whip! Her Favourite song artists are Celine and Cher although she may have a stint with GaGa

Drikus Knoetze

Drikus is a final year BA Communication and Psychology Student at North West University in Potchefstroom. I finally had the privilege to meet him, a tall quiet kind of guy but who Harper told me has the heart and determination to give it his all during the show. Even when the whip gets cracked during rehearsals he doesn’t mind practicing until it gets done perfectly 10 times over. Something we as a show group need of course.

Starr Fawker

Starr is recently famous for taking on a well-known Drag Queen in the “Sondag” newspaper for this Queen’s abuse and judgement of other Drag Queens in the LGBTI community. Starr was our Make-up Artist for the Shoot and did a fantastic job transforming us into people who look like they come straight from Hollywood.

Jodian

Jodian Van Aarde is as coloured as they can get. He is one of the Choreographers of the Show group who brings his Voguing, Funky Dance routines as well as his hilarious personality. Jodian was one of the top 5 finalists for Mr. Gay South Africa 2012/2013.  Jodian is  actually very serious about his dancimg so this group has given him the opportunity to do what he really loves.

En kyk die meisie nou! Spy those Calves! From the Start Jodian wanted to perform his dance routines in heels. A new challenge he found is murder on the feet ! LOL

The Look on Jodian’s Face says: why can’t I wear these GaGa Heels? 😉

Petrus

My loving partner for more than 2 years now asked to be in the show group as he wanted to help out where he could even if we would use him as a tree or a prop on stage, just kidding! Although Petrus was a bit stressed on the day he did some amazing poses under the guidance of Jodian.

Moira

I recently decided to get myself a Personal Assistant to help me with all of the aspects of the De Bouchet Empire and to get creative entrepeneurial projects off the ground. I recognised Moira as someone who was in need of a job and who is a hard working individual. Harper had thought that Moira was a family member or someone’s Mom who was willing and kind-hearted enough to give a hand but found out that Moira was actually getting paid for everytime I needed a safety pin, my curls sprayed with Hairspray or my accessories handed to me at lightning speed.

Comfort Zones

I think that we all were taken out of our Comfort Zones for a day.  From Queens wearing completely different make-up to what they have ever done before to guys shaving their legs to exposing their bodies just a little bit more than what they would in public!

One of the biggest challenges for me was having my eyebrows shaved. I did not have chance to have my brows properly sculpted before the shoot as I was incredibly busy both at work and sorting everybody else out for the shoot so Starr shaved them to be much (much)shorter. After trying a small clipper she had to, as she said, use something more ‘industrial’! LOL Although I have to now paint my eyebrows in for the next two weeks my Make-up looked super stunning.

Our Day Started at 09:00 with Make-up for all the Queens and then the Guys had theirs done at the studio.

Everybody got to bond a little and get to know each other a little better. Jodian’s place was changed into a Make-up Studio, Chill Lounge and gigantic walk in closet with all the myriad of shoes and different outfits that were tried on to get the final look for everyone.

While everybody’s make-up was getting done we had some time to sit and chat, and of course do nails, Yes I was wearing Curlers Dolls! All that was missing was the gown and slippers LOL

The Shoot itself was at Sundowner Studio in Wendywood Sandton where a lot of major Magazines also do their shoots. A very larney studio with all the facilities one would need. A very tall infinity curve backdrop is the highlight of the venue which gives the feel that it can extract quite intriguing results with photos. The shoot went quite fast with everyone striking their poses and delivering gorgeous photos. Everyone was shot individually and would be put together at a later stage. My poses were okay but I realised they missed a sense of typical Drag Queen Drama. Rishana who was first up to get shot, was an absolute natural and flowed so well with her poses. after finishing my shot sets she came and suggested some interesting poses and there and then she became the coach for posing. She had after all practiced the night before in front of the mirror! For the shoot I instantly renamed Rishana to our ‘Bonang’ as she really knew how to work it. Girl. Snap.

One of the most striking sets of photo’s Harper did was with her (in typical Paper Doll Fashion) Silver Full length evening gown in which she made some intriguing poses which developed a sense of mystery for us all.

Starr who had done everybody’s make-up was up last and we went overtime so that she could do her shots properly. Starr is an absolute perfectionist. Everything with her Drag is done very precisely with almost military accuracy. After doing quite a lot of shots Starr was only happy with one. Talk about Perfectionist!  That’s what I love about Starr, she is always trying something new, always finding ways of becoming more ‘polished’ as a Drag Queen. I learnt a lot from her as a Queen. May I add that she has a gorgeous smile! I forced Starr, in fact everyone, to smile during the shoot as we are in show business after all! Like Charlie Chaplin said in his song: “Smile thought your heart is aching”.

The Very Professional Starr Fawker who is quite a natural with her poses! Fierce Girlfriend! This photo is just to give a closer look of what was part of the photo shoot setup. Spy Petrus who was holding a Mirror up for Starr to see if her poses were Perrrrfect!

Time to Wrap UP

After a long day of Make-up sessions, skinner (gossip), Chilling, Posing, Laughing and the occasional wardrobe malfunctions or boobie alerts we wrapped up the day with our group photo which has been eloquently dubbed our “Class of 2013”. I was so grateful for everyone who came to the shoot and who helped out. Everyone had their role to play and did so with dedication. Although we may need some more time to bond I feel that our show group is busy developing into a family and family is what counts in whatever form one may find it.

We went to Melon Restaurant in Melville for some after shoot drinks, discussing all the happenings of the day and to meet up with the owner together with the manager Charl van Den Berg, Mr Gay South Africa 2009 and Mr Gay World 2010. I will be looking forward to doing a show with my new family at Melon. We really have something new and fresh to bring to the table.

What I took away from the shoot:

* That Make-up is an essential tool for a Drag Queen, cannot be neglected and needs to be practiced.

* You can never know enough about Drag, you always learn something new no matter how good you are.

* Yes I can do my own brows as I do know what I want after all.

* We all find our ‘family’ in the most interesting ways.

A Big Thank You To my Team for the fantastic Day we had!

The Best and Worst of 2012 and My Date With My Diary

I’m back!

I Had quite a lovely holiday. Darlings I took a break from everything, even my blog is late because I needed some well deserved rest!

But here I am ready to take 2013 on!

2012 had been a very eventful year briefly, I would just like to mention some of the worst and best moments in the international and South African LGBTI community.:

Worst moments

(In no particular order)

The tragic Passing of Drag and Dance Sensation FoxyLopez Brown

At the beginning of 2012 Pope Benedict XVI said that Gay marriage was one of several threats to the traditional family that undermined “the future of humanity itself”.
In his traditional Christmas speech he denounced Gay marriage which he said is destroying the very ‘essence of the human creature’.

Utterances by Chief Patekile Holomisa and his attempt via the constitution review committee to have protections of sexual orientation in section 9 of the SA Constitution scrapped. This resulted in mass protests and uproar in the LGBTI community across South Africa where many Organisations and groups united under one cause to make their disgust against such blatant homophobia known.

Rapes and Killings of especially Lesbian members of the SA LGBTI community.

Cruising Gay men who ended up murdered which was at first thought to be the work of a Serial Killer but has been linked to homophobic Gangs.

Imprisonment of Punk Band Pussy Riot

USA, Georgia-based fried chicken chain Chick-fil-A donated more than $5 million to anti-gay groups. Company president Dan Cathy said he opposes marriage equality and operates his fast-food chain according to “biblical principles.”

A Drag group made a music video “endorsing” Chick-Fil-A but it ended up being anything but an endorsement!

Check out the video below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sO-msplukrw

Best Moments
(Once again, In no particular order)

Legalising of Marijuana and same-sex marriage in 2 US states

The Gay Flag of SA being the first in the world to be recognised as a National Symbol.

Mr. Gay World being held in South Africa as well as Africa for the First Time

New Developments in combatting the HIV virus

Madonna Speaking out against Homophobia in Russia

Lady GaGa coming to South Africa for the First time giving stellar Performances with the Born This Way Ball Tour in both Johannesburg and Cape Town. Her Dancers, of Course, oh so Gay!

The Gay Flag of SA Tour throughout South Africa creating more awareness about LGBTI issues.

Then there were the “Dubious” moments:

Disruption of Joburg Pride
By a small group of LGBTI activists

Hey, it was (almost) the end of the world! There were even light forecasts of Brimstone and fire but just like the weather forecast goes it’s not always accurate.  Many News stories, Books, DVD’s later, which many people bought and only some people made lots of money from, December 21 came and went and yes we still had debts to pay and some may have had to deal with unwanted pregnancies!

My Date with my Diary
For the Past few years I have been buying a Diary for my Man and I so that we can plan our lives properly. As my partner has said countless times I have an obsession with planning.

I plan every trip we do together, every event we attend, every outfit I’m going to make. Some things get planned for months and every end of month budget gets planned a month in advance! LOL

Here are some of the best and worst moments by a few people as well as what they are planning for 2013:

Coenie Kukkuk
“There have been so many great moments in 2012 – April being the busiest month of my life when we organised both Mr. Gay World 2012 and Pink Loerie three weeks apart – I am still not sure how we managed, but we did. Personally, receiving the Eric Butter Philanthropy Award was a personal highlight, as well as South Africa’s Lance Weyer being the first runner-up (I still think he should have won! 🙂 ). Mr. GSA 2012 was also very special – we had an exceptional group of finalists.

Worst moment? Well, I don’t like to dwell on those – but most stressful was when the MCs were waiting for the scores of Mr. GSA and we realised that the top two was so close that we had to recheck all the scores.

Not easy if each finalist was marked out of 4000 marks and we only had about 5 minutes! But we did and the scores were confirmed and Jason prevailed.  Looking back, 2012 was by far the busiest year of my life, both at the firm and with the community work.

As you probably know, I am leaving Mr. GSA to concentrate on my work, but I am still staying on for this year at Pink Loerie and Mr. Gay World (as Director Africa & Middle East). But it will also be my last year with these two, my firm and unfortunately my health demand my full time attention. I want to be free of other commitments at the end of the year.  My main goal now is to help make Pink Loerie 2013 the best ever, and in August for South Africa to do well at Mr. Gay World again – very well actually! 🙂 ”

Laura Viljoen
“Worst – my husband’s traumatic amputation, my Best moment was the pride I felt in my son when I watched his year end concert & received his awesome report!!”

Something worth mentioning here:
My partner and I went to visit Laura and her Husband during the festive Season and she gave us some very true advice. Laura said that as individuals we work so hard throughout the year forgetting to reward ourselves for all our effort. Instead of buying extravagant gifts for others, why not take the time and money to spoil ourselves? So that’s what my man and I did. We shopped some things, that had been on our wishlist for ages, to reward ourselves and you know what? It felt GOOD!

Marco Potgieter
“My worst moment in 2012 was when I was arrested for possession of narcotics and I spent 31 hours in jail. My best moment in 2012 was also when I got arrested because it helped me kick my drag habit that I have been stuck in for 6years and I am proud to say I have been clean and sober for over 180 days!  This was truly a life changing year for me and I wouldn’t change the experience for the world.”

Jason Rogers – Mr Gay South Africa
“Wow how do I choose, 2012 has been so full of both. The worst I suppose would be the first 3 months I guess. I had some intense studying to do after 2011 and had to fight the fatigue – to be ready for the Medical Technologists board exam, which I guess leads into one of my best moments: I passed my exam and became fully qualified after years of studying. Other great achievements would be moving out into my very own place, passed the first postgraduate qualification at the university, and winning Mr Gay South Africa 2012/2013 – but specifically the moment where my mom shed a tear as they announced me the winner.
2012 was a hectic year, a year I learned to find myself again, found love and was the year that hard work paid off.

My aim is to always remember the reasons for entering Mr Gay South Africa, to remind people to be proud of who they are, to be open not only about my sexuality but who I am. To show people no matter what age, that it is ok to be who you are, gay or straight, to encourage people to be who they are and to fight for equality. South Africa is privileged enough to have equality in our constitution but there is still so much to fight for. One of my main aims is for people struggling with their sexuality to have easier access to unbiased information and support during their journey but also for their families. I will be in attendance at the Pink Loerie at the beginning of May, Joburg Pride and of course Mr. GSA 2013. I have also been invited to attend some charity functions and am looking forward to those.

Also looking forward to my preparations for Mr Gay World in all my efforts to do my best to make South Africa proud 😉 ”

Lee Van Oostrum
“I think the worst moment for me in 2012 was when I lost my cousin in a very bad accident. She was the same age as me and we were very close. She still had her whole life ahead of her and I think no parent should carry the sorrow of laying their child in the ground.

I had a few awesome moments in 2012 but I have limited space so I met new friends, reunited with old friends, I moved to JHB and picked up on my life this side. I started several new projects that will carry on in 2013. I just enjoy life, you only get one chance!

2013 is going to be a big year. I just bought a new business and I can’t wait to start working for myself. I am part of an awesome organisation called GLIBIT and I expect great things to happen in 2013 – watch this space – I am in the process of starting a new exclusive men’s fashion store that will be featuring high end fashion brought direct to your door (I’m very excited about this) It will give the opportunity for new and upcoming designers to get a foot in the fashion and retail world… I can’t give it all away now but it’s going to be huge!”

Irish Keabetswe Palo
“My best moments were being on 3Talk as a guest and all the positive things that the Sand reader told me (Irish had his “fortune” told by a psychic sand reader) that I’m gonna grow financially and that I’m gonna have a great year actually happened 😀 plus my promotion at work.

My Worst, in November I was suppose to move to Bryanston and the rent was cheap and I moved in there and it turned out to be a scam and got evicted the same night, very traumatic and I was devastated and that’s how I landed in Newtown.”

What was Carla’s Worst and Best for 2012 and what am I planning?

My worst
When my Blackberry fell in my Coffee and I had to battle for months to get my phone sorted which made me quite a good friend of HelloPeter.com and maybe public enemy number one for a certain cellphone network! LOL

My Best
There are 3:
Finally getting to drive my car, LoLa (I usually give my cars Drag Queen Names) which had been in a car accident after spending so much time and money just getting the damn car fixed.
The other 2 would definitely be going to the Mr. Gay World contest and seeing Lady GaGa Live in concert making it one of the most unforgettable moments of my Life.

Plans?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   To firstly do Drag Shows to Raise funds for GLIBIT, the LGBTI organisation I work for and to go back and start studying things I enjoy doing like Beauty and Make-up! Also getting involved where possible in the South African and International community and of course to keep on writing on this blog. This Blog has actually meant a lot to me as I could express my thoughts and my writing talent like never before!

What do I take from this?
* That it’s never too late to start something new.
* I have a unique path to follow so I can’t compare my development with others.
* When facing a challenge things will eventually come right.
* My thoughts, Actions and even words are very powerful and they can manifest whether positive or negative.

To all my readers may you be blessed for this year and experience Love, Joy and abundance in all that is positive!

Much Love
Carla

Mr. Gay South Africa™ 2012/13 Grand Finale

Official Mr. GSA Photography by Ryan Lourens.  Written by Wim Vorster. Producer:  Kosie Smit. Choreography by Gerrit Prinsloo

The Mr. Gay South Africa™ 2012/13 Grand Finale was held at the very Larney Atterbury Theatre, Lynnwood Bridge, Pretoria on Saturday 08 December 2012.

I felt like I was in Sandton.

Hosted by the hilarious and very talented Terence Bridgett and Cathy Specific this duo sure made the evening really entertaining with Terence being one heck of a mischievous character on stage.

As always the Mr. Gay South Africa™ evening opened with a bang! Strong shirtless finalists dressed and styled by Bone Wear and Jawy hair design danced  and modelled as Cathy Specific Sang (not lip Sync’d)  her way through an extravagant performance in a skin tight number with some diamond jewels literally covering…ahem…the “other” jewels?

Here is a Vid of the opening sequence:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Awdb559YbV0

The singer and Songwriter Freddy Van’Dango, a previous contestant from Idols also performed with his rather unique style.

The Finalists were all introduced wearing Wonderguy Clubwear.

So for the last time the finalists:

From Stellenbosch in the Western
Cape is Dijan Botha, aged 21, he supports Animal Welfare Stellenbosch.

From Nelspruit, Mpumalanga,
supporting the Belfast Children’s Home, is 22 year old Brian Clough.

From Welkom in the Free State with his chosen charity Claws, is twin brother Rodney Clough.

A 19 year old supporting the Highway Hospice Association, Aaron Blandin de Chalain from Durban in KwaZulu-Natal.

25 year old Martiens de Jager
From Somerset West in the Western Cape, for the Triangle Project.

From Cape Town, in the Western Cape, supporting Pride Shelter Trust, 23 year old Brandley Gallant.

From Johannesburg, Gauteng, 24 year old Tumelo Makgaora giving his support to Soweto Home for the Aged.

Another twin From Pretoria with his chosen charity Amadea Safe House for Kids, 28 year old Hendrik Kruger.

All the way from Gugulethu in the Western Cape is the 23 year old Wandile Mbunyuza with his charity Health for Men.

A 22 year old, from Centurion in Gauteng, with his charity The Pink Hearts, Jason Rogers.

From Randburg, Gauteng, 24 year old Jodian van Aarde, supporting Talitha Stimulation.

Schalk van der Merwe, a 28 year old from Wolseley in the Western Cape who’s charity is Cape Town Pride.

Steve Williams, 37, from Johannesburg and a great supporter of CANSA.

Terence went about the first round of interviews asking the finalists some interesting questions.

Some of the questions and answers that really stood out to me were:

Rodney Clough when asked who inspired him he said public figures like Lady Gaga and Brad Pitt, who are straight but who also fight for gay rights and gay marriage.

One of the funniest questions and answers was when Aaron Blandin de Chalain was asked how he would describe himself to a blind date.

Aaron answered: he would say that he had reached the finals of Mr Gay South Africa, had looks and personality, so would the date still be on?

Brandley Gallant dreams of destroying all tags and labels put on people for good.

Tumi Makgaora wants to be a role model for all gay people, but black Gays especially as there is still so much stigma attached by straight friends and family but his voice will be able to make a difference.

When Wandile Mbunyuza was asked how he feels about the way society has been treating him as a Gay Man. He said that a lot of people have scolded him for being ungodly and unnatural but said that he didn’t complete an application form for being Gay. (O’Snap!)

When Jodian van Aarde was asked why he entered Mr. GSA. He answered that when he told his mother he is Gay, her words were: “Be Safe”. Mr Gay South Africa would give him the platform to promote Safety, Acceptance and Love.

Schalk van der Merwe said that being Gay, although extensive, was only one part of who he is.

It was time to announce the winners of various prizes:
The Winner for Best Ticket and Ad Sales: Steve Williams! Winning a 3 day dinner, bed and breakfast stay at Nomndeni Celukhule Lodge in Nelspruit.

Best score for the Written Exam was achieved by: Steve Williams!
Winning ANOTHER Nomndeni Package. Wow!

Best Blog was awarded to Aaron Blandin de Chalain. Also winning a Nomndeni Package. Aaron had a great blog which he really put effort into and wrote such personal yet beautiful blogs on his life and his time being a finalist for Mr. GSA. You can take a look at his cute blog here: www.mrgsafinalist.co.za/aaron
I do think Jodian van Aarde was a strong contender with his hilarious (and also personal) blog:  www.mrgsafinalist.co.za/jodian
Both Aaron and Jodian told me that they will be continuing their respective journeys as a bloggers so watch out for their fabulous work in the near future!

Soulful singer Nell performed her song “Anderkant die stilte”. Nell who also hails from the female group “La-Diva” studied Jazz and is a vocal lecturer at Tshwane University.

The Judges were announced:
Simone Heradien
Radio Personality from Radio Today’s show “OUTspoken” fame, socialite and journalist.

CEO of the public Protector, Advocate Themba Mthethwa.

Miss Junior South Africa 2011 Danmari Bouwer.

Mr. Gay South Africa 2009 and Mr. Gay World 2010 Charl van den Berg.

There were performances by Eden Michelle with her song about bullying called “Shout!”. Did she “Shout and Scream”?

Well, just enough for a singer but she does look like a rocker chick!

The active wear was up next with a very high powered modelling sequence. The Muscular (and oh, yes, shirtless) finalists paraded sexy jeanswear by      True Religion to a very excited audience.

Interval arrived and everyone had a chance to recharge their booze batteries and have a ‘piepie’.

Among the glitteratti to be seen attending Mr. Gay South Africa was the famous Britney and GaGa impersonator Derick Barry who recently visited SA doing a run of his ever popular show at Babylon the Club as well as the Bar and Andre Smuts, the proudly out Afrikaans singer. Some of the Drag Royalty to be seen was Claudette Lee Cooper as well as Megan Carreira in their gorgeous blinged up evening gowns.

After interval one of the clear favourite parts of the competition was up next: Bone Wear and the audience went  crazy even at the mere mention of these muscle bound hunks who would be strutting their stuff in a more bare medium. When one has the privilege to sit in the front row of a contest you get to really appreciate your seat when it comes to the Underwear section. This is especially so when you can see EVERY single detail and realise that the contestants were not hiding any tissues in their undies. *Raised Eyebrows*
The audience got a bit hot under the collar and if my boobs were wax they would’ve melted!

Even Terence had to crawl onto the stage as he just couldn’t handle the heat of those hot bods!

It was time for more prizes:
The Bone Wear Underwear Model of the Year and a year’s supply of Bone Wear was awarded to Jason Rogers! With a body and smouldering looks that even Daniel Craig would have a licence to kill for it came as no surprise.

Mr Popular for receiving the most SMS votes was: Steve Williams! Receiving his THIRD Nomndeni package! According to Coenie just on 5000 SMS votes were received for the popularity competition so this just goes to show the phenomenal support that came from the LGBTI community and greater SA public.

The Winner for Best YouTube Video went to Schalk Van Der Merwe! His clip was very well directed and conveyed his message as Mr. GSA finalist beautifully. Schalk also walked away with a Nomndeni Package.

Here is Schalk’s award winning YouTube Clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlLnkbulw4Y

Goodness all the packages that were at this contest were so much! Some were given away and others were on display! Eish so confusing LOL

The Mr. GSA directors and organisers namely Coenie Kukkuk, John-Louis O’Neil, Frank Malaba and Karin Sephton were thanked for their tireless work and many hours of self sacrifice to put up such a spectacular event. What many people do not realise is that this event was organised in their spare time and many sacrifices were made but as Coenie mentioned it was worth it.

The saddest part of the evening was the announcement by Coenie that both he and John-Louis O’Neil would be stepping down as Directors in their respective portfolio’s. Coenie will still remain Director for Africa for the Mr. Gay World Organisation.

Coenie Kukkuk said that when he was younger there were no such institutions like the Mr. GSA organisation. The LGBTI community needed “someone to give hope and who they could aspire to.” It has always been a dream of Coenie and the Mr GSA Organisation to host the Mr. Gay World Pageant here in South Africa and this year that Dream was realised. Another chapter in LGBTI history has closed but there is always another great one to be written.

Before Timothy Moloi began to sing a beautiful version of “Paradise Road” a slide show played on the big screen of everything and anything to do with our Beautiful South Africa with the Lyrics: “There are better days before us, there’s a burning bridge behind us…” Images played of the healing that took place in our country’s past.
The slide show ended with the names of members of the LGBTI community. It was a tribute to those who had lost their lives to preventable Deaths: Hate Crimes, Suicide and yes Car Accidents, my dear Foxylopez Brown’s name, who had just recently passed away, was on that screen and one couldn’t help but have a lump in the throat.

The final segment of the show was the evening wear sponsored by Top Hat Suit Co.

Each finalist was dressed in his own unique outfit. As Timothy sang his powerful rendition of Heather Small’s “Proud” with the lyrics “What have you done today to make me feel proud” trio’s of handsome and dashing men graced the stage. Amongst my Favourite’s were Aaron Blandin de Chalain’s Tuxedo, Jodian van Aarde’s Champagne suit, Martiens De Jager’s very corporate look and Dijan Botha’s smile.

The Mr. MichaelGamePlan title for Best Sportsman of 2012/13 award went to Brian Clough! According to Coenie, at the breakaway week before the contest Brian (and later his brother Rodney as well) fell down during the sport challenge but managed to pick himself up and get the top score.

Finalists at the Mr. GSA Breakaway Mpumalanga held at Kat-Man-Doo Gay Male Resort; Flycatcher Castle, Kruger National Park, Blyde River Canyon Nature Reserve – photo by Ryan Nicolas Lourens

Just to note some of the fantastic support from Sponsors, Tempest Car Hire sponsored ALL of the transport for the Mr. GSA finalists at Joburg Pride, the Breakaway week, the Grand finale itself, Mr. Gay World 2012 AND yes even the Pink Loerie Mardi Gras & Arts Festival in Knysna this year. Phew that’s a lot of petrol!  I wonder who played taxi Driver? LOL

The Best Charity Work award was given to Jason Rogers for raising R13,000 for The Pink Hearts Animal Charity winning a College SA Study grant of R15000. Jason raised the funds by organising a charity “Bitchy Bingo” at the fabulous Beefcakes Restaurant in Illovo, Joburg who by the way won the Rosetta Award 2012 for Service Excellence from RASA (Restaurant Association of South Africa).

Mr Personality was awarded to: Jodian van Aarde, as Gay as a Jacaranda, he really deserved this prize and like “Miss Congeniality” this prize was decided by fellow finalists. He also won a Nomndeni package! Phew!

One of the biggest parts of the evening arrived with the announcement of the Top 5. This was as they say “Maak of breek” (Make or Break)

Drum Roll!

The Top 5 finalists for Mr. Gay South Africa™ 2012/13:
(Hopefully in no particular order?)

Brian Clough
Martiens De Jager
Jodian van Aarde
Jason Rogers
Steve Williams

The Top 5 were then each asked the same question as the rest were soundproofed backstage from hearing the ‘questioned’ .

As with Mr. Gay World 2012 Terence had the pleasure of asking the question:

“If a young Gay Male/female approached you who is being bullied or abused what would you say to him/her?”

Some of the things that stood out with the top 5’s answers were:

Jodian
“Respect and stand up for yourself. You can become your own superhero”

Brian
“There are people out there who are willing to help and talk about it.”

Jason
“Love yourself, you are not alone, you are special, each person is there to find his purpose.”

Steve
“They should never doubt themselves. Step away from the bully. Make yourself the best person possible.”

Martiens
“Stay strong. He would support him/her all the way to have a better future.”

While the audience was anxiously waiting for the judges to make a final decision Freddie Van’Dango Performed next in you may have guessed it, a rather prudish looking dress, “deurmekaar bolla” (confused hair) and high rise Orange sneakers.

All that I could say was:

“Freddy in a Frock!”
Freddie sang his song: “I’d be your Supergirl” and despite the rather ‘avant garde’ choreography one realises that he actually has a great voice. I do not know if I would class his music in the right genre but it may be something in the line of Electro Pop however he may just be way out there!

The final moment arrived where the biggest announcement for the evening was to be made: Who would be the next Mr. Gay South Africa. To add to the suspense Coenie asked the audience to take a 10 minute break as scores were close, a mere 0.2% and over 4000 marks had to be calculated. This just goes to show that the Mr. GSA judging process is quite rigorous and the winner is carefully selected.

As we were waiting for the final score to be checked one of the other highlights of the evening was of course the free booze by Creation Wines. We had the privilege of tasting a 2012 Sauvignon Blanc called “whale POD” which is just a superb light white wine but which made my heels quite heavy after having to down the rest quite quickly before getting back to the show and almost falling my way down the stairs to our front row seats! LOL

It was time for the previous Mr. Gay South Africa, Lance Weyer, to hand over his reigning title. I actually shed a tear or two because he is the first Mr. GSA that I have come to know quite well and I will surely miss him. I mean I bought one of his Bone Wear undies (ok, technically swimming trunks) at the Mr. GSA Gala Dinner and Charity Auction! A slide show of Lance and all his adventures while Mr. Gay SA played showing all the events he attended as well as his travels all over the world, compliments of Club Travel Cape Quarter (The Lucky Fish!). One Could See that Lance was holding back his tears but he had said that 2012 was one of the busiest but best years of his life!

Drum Roll
Here Goes!
And the winners for Mr. Gay South Africa™ 2012/13:

Brian Clough 2nd runner up
Steve Williams 1st runner up and deputy to Mr. Gay South Africa™.

And the Winner of Mr. Gay South Africa™ 2012/2013 is:
Jason Rogers!

Congratulations! Wishing Jason and his Deputy Steve all of the best in their new roles as representatives of the SA LGBTI community. Jason will be representing South Africa at the Mr. Gay World contest to be held together with the World OUTGames in Antwerp, Belgium in 2013.

Congrats to the finalists, You all did so well and I’m sure you grew personally and gained a lot of great adventures and experience.

What I have learned from the Mr. GSA Grand Finale:
* Get a bloody GPS! Pretoria confuses the living daisies out of me!
* The most profound moment for me did not come from any of the finalists, or the hosts, nor the judges and not even Lance, Coenie or the Directors themselves! It came from Jodian van Aarde’s future Mother-in-Law.

She told me that she never knew a lot about the LGBTI community and didn’t quite understand us. That night she fully realised what our community was about: We are people just like everyone else (and beautiful too), we are proud and have our own dreams, aspirations and yes we can be good people too (duh!). If this contest could melt away the perceptions of one straight person I only know about, imagine the impact this contest has on a National level? It is truly profound.

For more photos on the Mr. GSA Grand Finale you can go to Mambaonline’s gallery here:  http://www.mambaonline.com/galleries_view.asp?gal_id=697

Not a single Finalist walked away empty-handed with this Competition.
Just take a look at the staggering Prizes that not just the winner, runners up and top 5 won but finalists as well! Check out the staggering list Below the Generous Sponsors:

1. From Rani Resorts:

1st. Winner: 3 nights at Medjumbe Private Island, Mozambique for 2 people sharing (for the Winner) including all food & drink worth R32000;

2nd: 3 nights at Indigo Bay Island Resort and Spa, Moz. for 2 people sharing including all food & drink worth R32000;

3rd: 3 nights at Matemo Island. Mozambique for 2 people sharing including all food & drink worth R27000;

4th: 3 nights at The Stanley and Livingstone at Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe for 2 people sharing incl. breakfast & dinner worth R18500;

5th: 2 nights at The Stanley and Livingstone at Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe for 2 people sharing incl. breakfast & dinner worth R12500. Total: R122000.00

2. a. To the winner: a study grant worth R15000 from College SA; a year’s supply of MichaelGamePlan; Chris Winspear jewellery worth R5000; Cut, colour & style for one year from Jawy; a hamper from House of James Douglas; two pairs of True Religion jeans worth R12000; Gay Pages subscription for one year and a year’s supply of Bone Wear;

b. Study bursary worth R7 500 from College SA for the rest of the top 5;

c. Dinner vouchers for the top 5 from Beefcakes;

d. A cut, colour & style for each finalist from Jawy;

3. To the Bone Wear Model of the Year – a year’s supply of Bone Wear;

4. Winner Best Ticket & Advertisement Sales – winning a 3-day dinner, bed & breakfast at Nomndeni Celukhule Lodge, Nelspruit;

5. Best Written Exam – also winning a Nomndeni package as above;

6. Best Charity Work – winner wins the title of Mr College SA and a study grant worth R15000 from College SA;

7. Mr Personality – winning a Nomndeni package as above;

8. Best Blog – winning a Nomndeni package as above.

9. Title of Mr. MichealGamePlan going to the Best Sportsman of 2012, winning a MGP hamper;

10. Winner of the Popular Vote – best SMS scores, winning a Nomndeni package as above;

11. Best Video – winning a Nomndeni package as above;

12. EACH finalist received Bone Wear worth R3000 for the break-away;

13. EACH finalist received a MGP hamper worth R1000 for the break-away;

14.EACH finalist received a T-shirt from Wonderguy;

15. EACH finalist received a T-shirt sponsored by Globeflight & Gay Pages;

16. All received wine from Creation, alcoholic beverages from Esnell and were hydrated by Glaceau Mineral Water

Tribute to a Dancing Diva: Foxylopez Brown

On Thursday 06 December I attended the memorial service of Foxylopez Brown. The service was held at the beautiful Heavensgate in Boksburg, a fitting place to have said our last goodbyes to a Diva.

Foxy tragically passed away in the hospital on Sunday morning 2 December after being involved in a car accident while coming back from a bachelorette’s party where she did a performance. As of yet the accident is shrouded in mystery and many people have speculated what had happened but these could just be rumours and not the full truth. I think everyone was and still is too shocked that Foxy is gone.

At the memorial service everyone was asked to wear Red and Black and in typical Queer community fashion everyone was dressed .
When I arrived (horribly casually late) at the Memorial everyone was sitting quietly as some of Foxy’s favourite songs like ‘Diamonds’ by Rihanna was playing as I eventually sat down. ‘Candy Man’ by Christina Aguilera played and one could almost laugh with the cheery song that was being played despite the very solemn atmosphere.

Selwyn Thomas also known as Charne Churchill opened the memorial service with a very emotional eulogy dedicated to Foxy. I can tell you now there wasn’t a dry eye in that service. I myself ruined my make-up countless times.

Many people from close Drag friends like Shannin Brown, Kitana Clittoris, Darren Malay, Nicole Zackey, knoxima Jackson and fellow dancers and choreographers who worked with Foxy dedicated eulogy’s to her.

When other people were asked if they wanted to dedicate anything to Foxy everyone was dead quiet but we all were just too shocked and bereaved to say a thing.

I should have stood up and said something but I thought I could say something now:

“Foxy, I never had the great privilege to get to know you as well as your other sisters did. We were always bumping into each other at clubs, Prides, shows and pageants but each time we went our separate ways something about you remained with me: Your laughter and smile was infectious. You never said a bad thing about anyone and if someone said something you would just laugh it off. You were a spectacular performer but never thought yourself better than others. Most importantly you were never shy to teach me something about being a Queen without judging me. I will never forget that night in the Ladies Bathrooms at Ramp Divas when you taught me how to walk and carry myself with a Drag Pageant. Even with the little precious time we spent together you left something special inside me and I am a better person because of you.”

I never thought that Foxy’s death would upset me this much but it is because a kind hearted person is no longer with us and I have to carry on my life path more alone now.

When the memorial was finished, everyone was asked to form a ‘guard of honour’ outside the entrance of Heavensgate reception hall. Slowly Foxy’s Casket came out and everyone put a rose on it as it went past. I didn’t have a rose but could get to touch the casket and give a last goodbye to Foxy.

Foxy was born Brian Jeffrey Mouton but when a Queen dies both her male and female ‘persona’s’ need to be recognised especially for a grieving family who knew both.

The last time I saw Foxy was at Soweto Pride when her and a show group performed. As always Foxy was performing and dancing her heart out. I had the chance to see her backstage together with her good friend Nicole Zackey and the singer Linda. I had even taken a photo of her sexy bum as a joke. Little did I know that it would be the last time I would see Foxy alive.

Foxy was one of the few Queens I know who could lift her foot past her head and split flat. (I can’t even split, nevermind get my foot past my waist!)
The most striking thing about foxy was that she was really beautiful, both as a boy and as a girl. When I showed my Colleagues at work a photo of Brian I said that face was too beautiful to be that of a Boy’s.

On the night of Foxy’s Memorial the fabulous show group: “Divas of Drag” performed a tribute show to Foxy which was well attended by friends. Proceeds from this show have been used to raise funds for transport for Foxy to be buried in her home town of Upington in the Northern Cape.

What I have learned from Foxy and yes even her death:
* As a Queen, never judge.
* Always try to smile like Foxy did.
* When I perform on a stage I need to give it my all, I need to perform my heart out.
* I need to reach out to other Drag Queens more because face it, we need each other’s help and support.

Carla Goes GaGa!

Lady GaGa hits Johannesburg with a bang!

On 30 November Lady GaGa performed her world sell-out concert the ‘Born This Way Ball’ to a crowd of 60 000 fans at the FNB stadium in Nasrec, Jozi.

The atmosphere was electric but anxious as well as the crowd waited to get a glimpse of the music and Fashion Icon. To my great sadness I originally thought tickets were sold as the ticketing provider computicket had crashed when online sales went open and at that time I just didn’t have money. A small voice inside told me a day before the concert to check if any tickets were available and yes there were despite being bloody expensive! Small miracles do happen.

Lady Starlight, a friend of GaGa who is just as arty and “eccentric”, as well as The Darkness were the opening acts performing one of their most popular hits “I believe in a thing called Love”.

Lady GaGa had asked “Die Antwoord” to open her concert for her but they declined and subsequently released their music video “Fatty Boom Boom” which made hilarious fun of Lady GaGa in true South African Style. Lady GaGa retaliated to the hype on social networks though with the famous tweet:

“@ladygaga: i fink u freaky but you don’t have a hit. hundred thousand tIckets sold in SA. #thatmyshit”

The crowd had to wait more than hour and a half after the opening act for GaGa and jokes started to fly around like “Maybe GaGa is defrosting her dress?” or “this is Soweto they would take GaGa and have a braai with her and her meat dress.” Classical music was playing while everybody waited and everyone was saying: “enough with the elevator music already!”

There were fans who had waited since 4AM to be the first to get into the stadium and they weren’t disappointed. The first 250 fans were allowed into the “monster pit” which was basically like a golden circle for staunch Lady GaGa supporters.

Eventually a mysterious billowing curtain on stage dropped down revealing a gothic castle with strangely shaped windows and a maize of stairs and platforms. The lighting alone was spectacular!

A procession appeared out of one of the archways with flag bearers and Lady GaGa wearing a bling encrusted outfit sitting on what appeared to be a very realistic horse (this was in fact a giant puppet controlled by people who were literally carrying GaGa on their shoulders!)

The next moment the entire castle splits and folds open like a book and standing inside the windows of the unfolding castle, were the band members and DJ playing GaGa’s music!

Inside the castle a giant belly and legs inflated forming part of GaGa as she was giving birth and next moment out pops GaGa through a Zip opening between the legs! Talk about making a statement but the birth of a “new race” has been one of GaGa’s themes in her work.

A giant face, known as mother Goat suspended in a diamond, narrated a hectic story inbetween songs about the Government controlling some alien colony in outer space called South Africa. Lady GaGa later banished Mother Goat close to the end of the show but that face looked pretty strange with it’s rolling eyes!

GaGa introduced herself as not being a man, a woman, a creature or an alien, she said: “I Am You, and you are Me. I exist because of you.” She thanked everyone for buying a ticket and coming to watch her show.

GaGa asked the crowd if people talked shit about them, about their race, religion, orientation, culture and background would they give a f*ck? She asked all her dancers if they gave a f*ck? They didn’t. She even asked one of her performers known as ‘Black Jesus’ a very religious person wearing a crown of thorns and even he, according to her, didn’t have any f*cks to give. GaGa: “I’ll ask you South Africa, are you brave enough not to give a f*ck?” So in fact 60 000 people just didn’t give a f*ck! LOL
GaGa told the crowd that if there were those people who were not enjoying themselves then she “doesn’t give a f*ck” as well. She asked if there were any people working the next day, she didn’t give a f*ck about that either and said that everyone better have a hangover from drinking and throwing up all over their friends!

GaGa performed hit after hit:
Highway Unicorn
Government Hooker
Born This Way

Black Jesus Amen Fashion

Bloody Mary

Bad Romance
With this song GaGa was, as with the music video and her performance at the 53rd Grammy awards in Los Angeles in 2011, brought on stage in an egg.

Judas
GaGa mentioned how there were some people who did come to watch the show but who would go home afterwards and betray her. I told my man that I think a lot of people bought a ticket to come and see if what their preachers or pastors said about GaGa was true. #Sheep #Lies

Fashion of His Love
Just Dance
LoveGame
Telephone

GaGa rolled onto the stage on a motorbike with a sexy bikini clad dancer sitting on top of her bumping and grinding her so much that it would make most Lesbians blush, but wait a minute, GaGa wasn’t riding the motorbike, she WAS the motorbike!

Heavy Metal Lover
Bad Kids

Princess Die
GaGa had a very spiritual and philosophical moment on stage where she sang the Ballad version of “Born this Way” as well as some very personal songs she had written about herself. She sang a song about committing suicide and how she would like to be buried at her funeral with her favourite pearls and lipstick on as that is how she would like to be remembered.
She invited 5 people from the monster pit to come and sit with her on her motorbike which had ‘magically’ transformed into a keyboard. Those lucky Fishes!

She said that she had travelled the world and listened to stories from her “little monsters” about bullying. GaGa mentioned that there may be people who were treating you badly at school, at work or even at home where there wouldn’t be a place at the dinner table for you because of what you believed in or who you were but at her table there would always be a seat for you. GaGa knew that not everyone understood her but said that her creativity and expression was her way of dealing with the pain of her past.

GaGa said that at that moment she was wearing a lot of make-up, a very expensive wig and outfits but she was no different to anybody else.
She mentioned that over the years and as her music and concerts went on she noticed how her fans had grown out of emulating or copying her to creating their own unique style and she appreciated that.

One of Lady GaGa’s messages is about acceptance, not just acceptance from others but first and foremost accepting yourself.

Hair
You and I

 

Electric Chapel
With this song there was a beautiful chapel scene with two crosses and the entire castle and stage was ablaze with every colour of the Gay Flag rainbow. Somehow one wonders if the theme was talking about same-sex Marriage, a hotly debated topic in the USA for years now. Maybe. We already know how GaGa is a fighter for Equality and LGBTI rights.

Talking about Pride, GaGa actually brought the South African Flag on stage with her motorbike and waved it around as she skipped about to the roar of the crowd. Pity she didn’t have the Gay SA Flag with her but I have a feeling she would whip it out in Cape Town!

Americano
Poker Face
The stage was transformed into a butchery in minutes with Carcasses hanging around the place and GaGa, wearing a form fitting dress made from (hopefully fake) meat, being brought in as one of the hanging meat items on display. GaGa told the crowd “So because I’m a woman am I a piece of meat to you?” Legs of female dancers were hanging out of giant meat mincers and later GaGa raised herself from below stage on a couch which looked like a giant piece of meat!

So often people misunderstand GaGa’s work as they do not know how to look at the artistic meaning behind it.
The day before the concert when my Man and I went to buy bread and milk at the shops and as always the cashier ladies asked us what our plans were for the weekend, we were not shy to mention that we were going to see GaGa. A rather conservative lady in front of us turned around and said: “do you know that she is a Satanist and Baths in Blood?!” I of course was livid and asked her: “so are ALL artistic types Satanists?”. If I had my pepper spray she would’ve been on the floor but that wouldn’t change her narrow and archaic view of things in any way.

Here is a video of some of the action that went down:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U14hHMF1i18

Alejandro
Lady GaGa dedicated this song to all the Gay people out there and proudly paraded her Male dancers, most of whom are Gay, to her fans. One of the crowd members had said one could easily play a game of “spot the Gay” at the concert and that was definitely true not to mention the very hot talent that came out to watch.

Paparazzi

Just before performing Scheibe GaGa said: “I can’t speak South African but I can if you want me to!”

Scheibe

What amazed me was how quickly GaGa could change into her next outfit. It sometimes felt as if she took only seconds to change plus the amount of fabulous outfits she wore was staggering! No wonder the press had reported that she had brought six vans full of outfits alone together with an entourage of 200 people!

In one of the most emotional moments of the show for me, GaGa told the crowd that when she was about 12 she did a show at a bar with only 3 people in the audience: her Mom, her Dad and the Bar Owner. Her Mother, who was already nervous about her young daughter being in a bar asked her daughter if she had practiced enough. GaGa answered that she had been practicing since the age of 4. Today she was doing a show in front of
60000 people! GaGa said that one must never stop dreaming and put everything on the line for what you really want and believe in .

GaGa is a unifying force. For probably one of the few times in my life and here in South Africa especially I have seen people from every religion, race, culture, sexual orientation and background coming together, putting all their shit aside and enjoying a show.
One just has to wonder why we can’t do that more often but people love to hold on to what divides them. It gives them a sense of security and a comfort zone. GaGa is definitely not living in a comfort zone.

When everyone thought the show was finished and people were screaming “we want more!” up pops GaGa to perform “The Edge of Glory” and “Marry the Night” with a beautiful dance performance. GaGa invited 10 more people from the famous monster pit and at that point There were mixed emotions whether tears or ecstatically happy people. Somewhere somehow GaGa disapeared again and we knew it was final when we stadium lights came on. Sadly it was the end.

All in all it was truly a night to remember and it was worth every cent to go watch this show-stopper concert. If that means I have to cancel Christmas this year then so be it! LOL
My man, Petrus, told me on the way home that for one to really appreciate GaGa you need to go and watch one of her concerts. GaGa told the crowd that when she makes her next world tour she would never forget to make a stop in South Africa as she had learned and grew a lot from her visit here.

One of Lady GaGa’s tweets read:
“@ladygaga: Johannesburg was so wonderful, i can’t really put it into words. I’m so happy, I haven’t slept yet. Laying in bed dreaming of the next tour.”

What I have learned from GaGa:
*She told the crowd that 5 years ago she was a waitress in New York, working 3 jobs but she wrote and made music every day of her life.
This has stuck with me, I see in my own life where work and responsibilities are drowning out what I really want: To be a performer and activist.
* GaGa is not as bad as what Christians make her out to be. She may be artistic and weird, even outrageous, but she is a motivating person who preaches a message of genuine Love and acceptance. Something the church needs to take notes on!
* I want to be in the Monster pit when she comes to visit again.

So next time GaGa comes to SA you can bet on me going!

Mr. Gay South Africa™ 2012/13 Finalist: Martiens de Jager

Photography by Ryan Lourens

Fabulous Jeanswear by:

Name: Martiens de Jager
Age: 25
What Work does he do?
Human Resource Director
Where does he live?
Somerset West, Western Cape

Martiens is a very passionate and enthusiastic person. He has a painful past but I think we can learn from his experiences and how he picked himself up from Rock Bottom. Many people can relate to his story whether from battling peer pressure and drug addiction to the pain of coming out when everyone was not as accepting.

In your coming out story you have mentioned having friends who were the same “calibre” as you. What does this mean to you? What advice would you give any LGBTI person when it comes to choosing your friends?

“As a young boy I was always doing just what I liked – whatever it was, keeping me busy with the usual – everyday things or my overall interests in life. I surrounded myself with people and places where I felt comfortable and happy. It doesn’t depend on the sexual orientation or even the Gay matter! It depends on the character, the life, the humanity and a thing called love. Not only in relationships, but also with the beloved ones! Advice derives from a matter of building character. What does shape you makes you original. What doesn’t make you original makes you un-alive! Anyone can choose, BUT… the true individual deserves it! Choose yourself, use your guidelines, live according to yourself, and the rest will be there!”

Martiens my Darling, what is up with the boxing gear you wear in your photos? Are you a boxer in your spare time as well? Do wish you could be a boxer in another life or do you want to look tough? Just asking! 😉 LOL

“A fight is a fight – whether it is physical or emotional. All of us have to fight! The image I want to express is the fact that I am sometimes fighting with myself, others or/and the world. What is fighting all about? It is all about existence. For me to live, to strive, to be a part of creation… a boxer is only an image of FIGHTING. Maybe it comes from deep inside of me; maybe it comes from shallow waters. Who knows? But Fight, I WILL FIGHT, for myself and the LGBTI community!!”

Martiens’ Short Story:
“One of my hardest challenges I faced was the ‘Acceptance phase’. I abused drugs and alcohol for the reason that I had to get the sad feeling out of sight and mind. It later went so far that it became an identification crisis. I did not know who I was and had to handle my circumstances and feelings. I disappointed my family and friends in many areas of my life. I overcame my alcohol and drug abuse through a psychiatrist to whom my employer at that staged referred me to. A lot was solved there and my life returned to a direction of “normality”. The ‘Acceptance phase’ was not from my side but more from family and friends. I had to learn that they had to learn to accept me for who I am.

A serious issue which I would like to mention is the blatant drug dealing which is going on in the streets and parking lots near nightclubs, pubs etc. It frightens me how openly available substances are to party-goers, not even to mention the robberies, murders and so on that takes place in these surroundings. I would like to see that the Government makes a full hands-on investigation into this matter for I would like to see that the younger generation of South Africa is not exposed to this.

On the brighter side – so much is happening in my life at the moment. My youngest brother and his wife are expecting a baby boy that will be born the same evening as the Finals for MR GSA 2012. I also received news that my older brother and his wife are also expecting their first born but we are not sure of the gender yet lol. Further on I am blessed with a great company, supportive family and friends and a great and happy lifestyle. I cannot ask for more! Thanks to our Heavenly Father.”

Since there is this great news of new family members on the way have you ever thought of having children yourself? If you ever were to have children would you adopt a child or have a surrogate mother carry your baby?

“First of all, I am focusing on my career and my advancement in it. I always used to say : ”I want to adopt two Chinese daughters.” I am a man, obviously I have the urge to provide, to give and to love. I hope to go through the process of finding a woman who will provide me with the blessing of having children of my own – as surrogate of course. Time will tell.”

Adopting children is one of the “battle fronts” we also seem to be lagging on in South Africa. The process can be very difficult especially if the social worker or authorities involved have homophobic perceptions causing the process to be too rigorous becoming almost impossible. Martiens would like to have a surrogate mother but unfortunately not everyone can go that route as it is very expensive especially for Gay couples. Maybe this issue can also be taken on by Mr. GSA?

In the LGBTI community drug and substance abuse is a major challenge we face today. I wanted to ask someone who has really been there and has released himself from the vicious circle.

In your past experience, can excessive drugs and booze genuinely take away a person’s pain or sadness? What can a person do instead of using drugs and booze to help cope better and deal with your problems?
Was your struggle for acceptance not also for accepting yourself as well?

“At a stage in my life, drugs and alcohol was always there. At that stage it was everything I needed. It is a trap, a desire that a lot of LGBTI people fall into or are attracted to. The fact that one cannot let go, is because it placates the “desire” of being a full person ….unknown that the real you is actually waiting to be himself. The more I used the less I ‘became’. It was a downward hill actually! It was also a matter of peer pressure. I never took any substances to define who I am, but rather to “fit in.” I think one has to be oneself and to face everyday situations as they come without resorting to the fake help from drugs.”

I like the fact that Martiens uses the word “fake”. Drugs do provide “fake help”. It is temporary. My Mom used to always say that any Drugs provide a false sense of power.

When someone says “I really want this”
how much enthusiasm, dedication and passion is needed to enter and go through with a Mr GSA contest? Is there a measure for this?

“It takes yourself, it takes care, it takes ambition, it takes fighting, it takes individuality, it takes a difference, it takes resemblance, it takes LIFE……! I do not think there is a measure for this but rather to have ambition to make a difference.

Thank you for the opportunity to have had an interview with you Carla.”

What Have I Learned from Martiens:
* You can choose to pick yourself up from the ground if you come to a fall in life or not. The choice is yours to make.
* Drugs provide fake help, it’s not real.
* Fight for what you believe in and take a stand for it.

You can read more about Martiens on his blog here: www.mrgsafinalist.co.za/martiens

Thanks to Martiens! Despite the pain of his past he has stood up from the ashes and can stand proudly today.

Mr. Gay South Africa™ 2012/13 Finalist: Aaron Blandin de Chalain

Name: Aaron Blandin de Chalain
Age: 19
What Work does he do?
2nd Year Hospitality Management Student
Where does he live?
Durban

Photography by Ryan Lourens

Jeanswear by:

Aaron is a young person with so much energy and drive. He knows what he wants and how he wants to get it. Aaron has this creativity about him which he has reflected throughout his involvement with Mr. GSA. He represents a younger generation of LGBTI people with such honesty so I thought I’d ask him about the LGBTI Youth of today.

In South African society today the term “born-free” has been coined, what does this mean to you?  What kind of challenges do you think the LGBTI youth of today have that are different to older generations? What advice would you give to an LGBTI youth facing such challenges?

“I know no other way than “Born-free” – I have had the privilege of growing
up in a democratic SA where all people are awarded the opportunity to vote,
have equal access to all this country offers and every right to lead a life
they choose.

I think that the elder generations fought for acceptance and tolerance which could not have been an easy battle – they have my respect.  As the younger generation we have to deal with maintaining that level of respect that those before us fought to achieve and with so many more platforms to fight on with Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, internet, etc, it is a bigger boxing ring.

Any young LGBTI person of today needs to keep a level of dignity – actions speak louder than words so work harder, get that promotion, do that job well, prove you are capable, reach higher and eventually your opponents will be silenced without you having to stoop to their level.”

I have picked up from our younger generation of LGBTI people, especially from Teens, that there is more of a general willingness to work together despite there still being gaps in income and racial equality that still need to somehow be bridged. “Born Free” Youth know about the atrocities of our country’s past but somehow they seem to have less resentment  from it compared to the older generations.

Okey Dokey, I decided to have some fun! Aaron has a passion for Music so I thought I’d ask him to setup a list of songs for me, but not just any songs! LOL

If you had a song, any song, by any artist for each of your fellow Mr Gay SA Finalists, what would these songs be? (You can give the Artist as well if you wish)

“I thoroughly enjoyed receiving this question as I already had a song for a
few contestants in mind. I sometimes do have a habit of linking a song to
somebody I meet and so before I even received this question I had linked a
few of the contestants to songs already. I also ask that the contestants
don’t take offence at all to the songs I have linked to them as this is more
of a fun question than on a serious note. Just for laughs! :)… (Take note
of the contestants with ‘*’s next to their names as these are the few that I
have already linked before receiving this question, the rest I thought up of
for this question)

*Jodian– “Ass” by Niki and lil wayne

*Tumi– Any Adam Lambert song due to the surname similarities LOL.

Jason– “Pretty fly for a white guy”.

*Dijan– “Jy dink jy’s cooler as eke” by Jack Parrow =P.

Schalk– “The man who can’t be moved”

*Twins– Any rock song because when I met them, the way they were dressed and stanced themselves I immediately thought “Rockers” ;).

*Brandley– “Look at me now” by Chris Brown, Lil Wayne and Busta Rhymes (mainly
for the fact that I believe Brandley can talk at the speed equivalent to
Busta Rhymes rap LOL)

Hendrik– “Smile” by Justin Bieber because his smile is so contagious.

Oyama– “The Lonely Island” ft Rihanna- Shy Ronnie and Clyde

*Martiens– “Greece Lightning” because he looks like John Travolta in his
younger days.

Steve– “Greece Lightning” because I’m sure he was a part of John Travolta’s
younger days 😉 hehe.”

Aaron’s Short Story
“OK… I’m only nineteen years of age so as far as challenges in my life are
concerned…there haven’t been that many that have been unique or unlike any other young man trying to find his place in life.  Not trying to sound
flippant … just telling the truth.

I am the younger of two sons, my elder brother is a hottie with a stunning
girlfriend, designer flat, nice job and all the gadgets and toys of your
regular Jhb yuppie… love him to bits. My parents are Mario and Julie
… they’ve been together since school years – irritate the living daylights
out of each other (as per normal couples) but are still together and love
us more than anything else in the world.

I enjoyed school but was never the athletic sporty type (nor the academic
or cultural type come to think of it, EISH) –  enjoyed my friends and spent
weekends sneaking into clubs, drinking on the sly and fooling Mario & Julie
into thinking I was an obedient son (hehe).  I had/have an amazing set of
friends who are supportive of my lifestyle and are not judgemental …. but hey … if I’m paying for the drinks – what’s not to love??

On a serious note though …. my parents and immediate family have taught me the importance of family values and their love has given me the strength to be honest about my life choices. I see myself as a very respectful young man and have high moral values. My parents have taught me right from wrong and honesty is always the best policy. I honestly believe that I couldn’t have had a better upbringing as I am now very strong willed, independent and know what I want in life. I will forever stand up for what I believe is right, even if that means I’ll be standing alone. I am also very open-minded and love learning on people’s opinions. I am definitely an extrovert and love meeting new people and making new friends. I am always up for a good time but know that when it’s time to work and when it’s time to play.”

It’s important for young LGBTI people to still have dreams. As they say, Dreams are the time machines and realities of tommorrow. One of the biggest stresses a young person may face is what kind of job they want to have one day. As we all know finding the right one can be a confusing process and often the job that you want and the one you get are two different things. Yet still, we can dream. Dreams create hope for us, a sense of optimism.

Apart from the hospitality field what other kind of “Dream” Job have you thought of doing one day and why so?

“Club owner definitely!!! I know…that’s my youth talking but I have a deep
love for music and dancing and this would be the ideal way to incorporate
business with (my) pleasure! I would like a high-class establishment with no
tolerance for any fighting or drugs and I would work hard to achieve that. I
want to be known as a successful business man with a fun side and perhaps be
a positive influence to those entering my club.”

In what kind of situation do you think Mr. GSA would have to take a stand for what he believes in even if it appears as if he is standing alone?

“That’s a difficult one to answer – we have so many issues and challenges
facing us so it would be hard to pick only one but personally I would take a
stand if I felt that my integrity and belief in who I am was being
questioned.  I am proud of myself, my choices in life and what I have
achieved so far as do all proud Gay men – we do not need to justify our
place in society and we should not have to and I would face anyone/thing in order to bring that message home.”

To see more about Aaron and his cute blog, you can find it all here: www.mrgsafinalist.co.za/aaron

What I have Learned from Aaron:
* As a younger generation of LGBTI people we need to have respect for the older generation who fought so hard for our rights and yes we can learn a thing or two from them!
* There’s nothing wrong with having a bit of fun in all the “seriousness”!
* You can be honest about who and what you are then people will truly get to know you better.

Thank You to Aaron! He really has a very bright future ahead of him, best I put on my Lady GaGa Shades! (^^,)