Mr. Gay South Africa™ 2012/13 Finalist: Hendrik Kruger

Photography by Ryan Lourens.

    

Mr GSA Finalist 2012/13, SMS GSA5 to 40439 to vote for Hendrik to be Mr Gay South Africa 2012/2013. R2 per sms. Free minutes do not apply. Only 50 sms votes per phone allowed per day. T’s & C’s apply.

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I have 2 words for Hendrik: ‘Muscle’ & ‘ Mary’. In fact he is a whole nativity scene of muscle! Hendrik definitely Loves spending time in the gym but hey if you look great why not? In fact if I were to stand next to Hendrik one of the first things I would think of is that Gym card gathering dust in some forgotten corner of one of my Wardrobes.

Apart from going to the Gym what other activities do you enjoy doing in your spare time that might surprise someone?

“Apart from going to gym I love being in nature or spending time with my friends and family. Just a pity there is so little free time and when I have free time, the first place I go to is the gym. It’s just a place where I can have “me time” and then in that hour while I am in the gym, no one will be able to get hold of me as I don’t take my phone with me as that is my time! Then Sunday evenings if I have a few spare minutes I love to read all the news on mambaonline and Gay Pages whilst having soft music in the background lol. But I will always make time for my friends as they are the ones who are always there for me. When I still stayed in Uitenhage, in the Eastern Cape, on Sunday afternoons I would take my dog, Randy for a walk or if it’s a sunny and hot day I would take him to the beach. I really miss him. Oh and I love going to the movies!”

Recently the Mr. Gay SA organisation reached out and helped two of our LGBTI community members who were in real distress and in dire need of help.

A message sent by Johan Erasmus
“I would like to thank Coenie and the Mr. Gay S.A finalist for their support, assistance and caring hearts! Your care and love is heart felt and today I know that ther are still people and organizations that reach out a helping hand unconditionally! Thank from the bottom of our hearts! Johan & Patrick”

How do you know Johan and his partner Patrick? What did you do for them recently?

“I volunteered for this project and Coenie put me in charge of it. I started talking to Johan and he asked if I could help them with accommodation, so I contacted a few friends here in Pretoria to hear if they knew of any places that would be able to help them with accommodation. I got the number of a place called Homeless Solution in Arcadia, Pretoria. So the next day I fetched Johan and Patrick halfway from Krugersdorp after organising a place to stay at Homeless Solution and then took them to Arcadia to their new home. I am also selling tickets for a Barnyard show to raise money for them and for my charity organisation, Amadea Safe House for kids. I have also donated food to Homeless Solution which was sponsored to me by a special friend.”

As one can see from the above the Mr. GSA organisation is more than just a pageant and the public do not always see every selfless act that they do for our community. Although Johan and Patrick were just two people that were helped it was the Mr. GSA organisation that offered a helping hand when nobody else wanted to. True Story.

Hendrik’s Short Story:
“I am 28 years old, from Pretoria East and I am a Financial Advisor for a
big national company. I am also a twin – my ‘boeta’ and I are not identical
but we are very close and I love him to bits. He is straight and married to
a wonderful wife and we get along very well. They have also been really
good to me since I moved to Pretoria. He and his wife are both chartered
accountants. When I told my brother I am Gay (he was the first person I
told), his words were: “Boetie maak nie saak wie of wat jy is nie en al is
jy gay, ek is nogsteeds net so lief vir jou en jy sal altyd my boetie bly”.

I have faced a few difficult challenges since I came out of the closet. I
think first of all the most difficult was probably coming out to my
parents, because my dad is a reverend and is well known in my town where I
grew up and the last thing I wanted to do was to hurt my parents as I knew
how my dad would react when I would tell him.  But thank goodness 6 years later our relationship is better than ever,  as he made peace with the fact that his son is Queer (Gay).  A very special moment was when my dad and my mom said I must make them proud as a finalist in Mr. Gay South Africa 2012/13 and they even voted for me! Especially my mom always asks how it is going in the competition.

As for certain issues in the LGBTI community yes I would like to mention
one in particular and that is how we as LGBTI people discriminate against
each other, as if it is not bad enough that the straight people
discriminate against us as LGBTI people.  This is very sad and I really
hope we can stop doing that and rather learn to stand together – we
discussed this at a church function I attended. As a potential
Mr. Gay South Africa 2012/13 I want to change this in the LGBTI community.

People I would like to mention besides my parents there are two, the first
is someone I love very dearly and he is my best friend in Port Elizabeth,
Arnold. He has stood by me since the day I came out of the closet and we
have been friends for 6 years already and he is a real friend indeed. I really miss him a lot since I moved up to Pretoria.  Arnold thanks for 6 years of wonderful friendship. The other very special person is my ex and very good friend now, Stephan Muller.  He has also really always been there for me when I needed him just like Arnold.   Stephan and I dated for two and a half years.  But he is still a big part of me!  Stephan thank you for always being there and your advice when I needed it!”

Why do you think people within the LGBTI community are so judgemental towards each other by the way they look? What have you learnt about life when it comes to the way people look?

“Bad mouthing each other in the Gay community is a sad fact but it happens so much and it is something that needs to stop. As if we are not bullied enough by the straight people, we go and bad mouth people who are also part of the LGBTI, and it all comes down to jealousy. We have to learn to accept everyone for who they are. Every person is unique in his or her own way! Lets rather instead of bad mouthing each other see the good in each other instead of finding faults all the time. Let’s start to build up one another and stop with all the bad mouthing. And I have learned in life not to judge people by the way they look. There is a saying that goes never judge a book by its cover! We must remember that! Let’s learn to accept everyone as no one is perfect!”

In the LGBTI community breaking up with one’s ex is quite a messy Drama. Certain people go as far as bad mouthing each other on social networks and even their Darling pets get caught up in a “custody” battle. For instance poor old Fluffy gets to spend weekends with her one Dad as he is a workaholic and weekdays with her other Dad as he is a Party Animal.
Sad I know.

What did you do differently in order for you to keep a good relationship with your ex?

“Carla this a difficult question but I guess it all comes down to that we still loved each other when we broke up and we did not want to bad mouth each other and because we wanted to stay friends. Lol I also think it depends on the situation of the break up. But ja still today, Stephan is very close to my heart and we have a very good understanding and we will always be there for each other. The time we had together was just amazing and I am grateful that we remained such good friends. But it’s not always easy to remain friends with an ex. Stephan and I also promised each other that we will always be there for each other as friends.”

What Have I Learnt from Hendrik:
* It’s (sometimes) possible to have a good relationship with an ex.
* I need to get to a Gym or Yoga Class ASAP!
* Never judge someone by the way they look because you might be missing the opportunity to get to know a fantastic person.

You can look up Hendrik’s Blog here: http://mrgsafinalist.co.za/hendrik

Thank You to Hendrik! He is someone with so much Love to give this world.

Mr. Gay South Africa™ 2012/13 Finalist: Schalk Van Der Merwe

Mr GSA Finalist 2012/13, SMS GSA10 to 40439 to vote for Schalk to be Mr Gay South Africa 2012/2013. R2 per sms. Free minutes do not apply. Only 50 sms votes per phone allowed per day. T’s & C’s apply.

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Name: Schalk Van Der Merwe
Age: 28
What Job does he do?
HR Manager at a large fruit and vegetable concern in Ceres.
Where does he live?
Wolseley near Tulbagh, Western Cape.

Schalk to me seems more like a Country boy. Despite having experienced city life as well he has a great Love for Nature.

Are you and your boyfriend the only “Queers in the Village” in Wolseley or is there some other decent talent?

“My boyfriend actually lives in Potchefstroom – long distance, I know!  We are definitely not the only Queers in the village!  Lol!  This is actually like a Gay Mecca!  We have lots of Gay and Lesbian friends.  I’m sure there is some decent talent!  And a lot of closet case farmers.  They should start a TV series:  “Boer soek ‘n ou” instead of “Boer soek ‘n vrou”!

Schalk got caught up in the recent violent wage dispute protests in the Western Cape and his Home Town of Wolseley didn’t escape the politically motivated unrest. Being an HR Manager Schalk was affected in more ways than one as he had to face disgruntled Farmworkers and negotiations with government. You can read more about the dramatic series of events that unfolded here on his blog:

www.mrgsafinalist.co.za/schalk

Briefly tell me about your Dog Daisy and what happened to her recently?

“Daisy is my eldest “child” and a mixed breed doggy.  She turned 5 this month and we treat her like a child.  She eats what I eat, and sleeps with me on my bed.  During the Wolseley riots last week, Daisy ran away.  She is very sensitive to sound, and the protestors were rioting in our street.  The Police shot rubber bullets, and that must have upset her very much.  My mom and I stayed home in order to wait for Daisy.  She only returned the next day.  It is very important to keep your doggies indoors in events like these.  A hard lesson I’ve learned through this drama.”

Schalk’s Doggie Daisy just moments after she came home to her Daddy!

I see you are an organist and pianist in the church. How is everyone towards you at your church? Are they ok with you being Gay?
In 2008 a music Lecturer at the arts academy of a church in Moreletapark, Pretoria sued his church for firing him because he was Gay. How do you think this Church should’ve reacted when they found out he was Gay?

“My church and community is fine with me being Gay.  I’ve never had an experience where someone made me feel uncomfortable in the church.  I love music and the people in the church appreciate me for being me.  Our church had a “meeting” years ago, where they discussed the issue of “homosexuals” in the church, and only three people objected to allowing Gay people in the church.  These three already left the church, so this isn’t an issue anymore.  I think for a small town like Wolseley, this is a big accomplishment.

I am aware of the situation at Moreletapark and I’m disgusted by their narrow-minded approach to homosexuality.  I actually approached them a year ago about their H2O project – Homosexuality to Overcome, and they couldn’t defend their viewpoint on this matter.  I think the church has to seriously reflect on this matter and allow homosexuals in the church and allow them to practice their profession irrespective of their sexual orientation.

The church should’ve embraced the fact that he is a member of their church and should’ve honoured him for setting such a good example in being actively involved in the church.  God doesn’t reject us for being Gay, how can a church do that?”

In probably one of your first posts on your blog I read the following phrase: “I am sorted in my personal life” and this has stuck with me. Briefly explain what “getting sorted” means to you and how you went about it in your own life.

“In order to be representative of the LGBTI community, you have to know
yourself and what you stand for in order to understand the complexity
of our society. With ‘sorted’ I mean that I know who I am and I am
proud of the fact that I am a Gay man. This isn’t an issue I struggle
with anymore. Many homosexual people cannot cope with their sexuality
and resort to suicide or substance abuse. I do not have issues with
my sexuality and function as a proud Gay male. I am not ashamed of
who I am.

I also know what I want out of life and do not place value on
materialistic things. I rather place value on my religion as
Christian, my family, friends and of course my doggies. Life is too
short to waste it on things that is not suppose to matter. I went
through a rather difficult financial period a while ago and learned
through that what matters most in life. I believe that good comes out
of any difficult situation and we should see a problem as an
opportunity for a solution.”

This I think is probably one of the most important things one has to do before taking on entering a contest with the kind of calibre of Mr. Gay SA. You need to get your finances sorted, your work life sorted, your spiritual life, physical life sorted and if you have that someone special in your life then that person needs to be taken into consideration when making a decision. Entering Mr. GSA takes a lot of Guts and determination!

Schalk’s Short Story
“Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get. I believe Forest Gump didn’t read the instructions when opening the box. Yes, life doesn’t come with an instruction manual, but certain situations can be avoided and handled with a bit of humour and a liberal and open perspective towards people’s approach to homosexuality.

I grew up on a farm close to a small town and I never even knew that something like homosexuality existed. I realised I was “different” from the normal boys from a young age when realising I was attracted to other boys. I tried to hide this being afraid of how other people might react when explaining to them how I felt. Struggling to align my sexuality with my religion as Christian was the biggest stumbling block I had to overcome. My parents were very conservative and set in their ways. Fortunately this changed gradually and is still improving.

My first encounter with other members of the LGBTI community was when I went to a Gay club at the age of 20 (believe it or not – this was the first time I met other Gay people). I was a bit shocked seeing that I’ve never been exposed to something like this ever, but I enjoyed it.

More about me? Well, I refer to myself as “plain Jane”. Not much baggage, enjoying life to the fullest, humble, love exercising, music and spending time with family and friends. I don’t take people too seriously and I don’t allow them to upset me. Life is too short to waste it on negativity. I also like reading, when I get the time and will always stay an “undercover” academic – I like to do research in my field of study (human resources) and entrepreneur (own two businesses apart from my day job). Yes, I am quite busy. Hehe! I also have numerous qualifications, two degrees and a few diplomas and am thus not an air bubble. Oh, before I forget, I have 3 doggy children, which I adore, love spending time in nature and with my boyfriend.”

Nowadays you get LGBTI Teens coming out of the closet as young as 16 and even younger. Do you perhaps wish you could’ve come out the closet sooner? Do you wish there was someone who could’ve educated you about the LGBTI community sooner?

“I am actually glad I didn’t come out sooner.  This is a big step in one’s life and I waited for the right time and place.  This shouldn’t be a forced effort and you should know yourself 100%.  At the age of 16 I still had a lot of insecurities, so if I came out then, I could’ve messed it up.  It would’ve helped if someone assisted me in the process though, seeing that I wasn’t exposed to homosexuality.”

What have I learnt from Schalk:
* Before making a major decision or taking the plunge, make sure your own life is sorted out first.
* Humour can be used as a way of overcoming a difficult situation and even difficult people.
* Christian Churches have a choice to be Homophobic or not, all it takes is a decision in the right direction.
* Living in the Countryside is what you make of it.

Thank You to Schalk! Was really awesome to get to know this down to Earth Guy.

At least there is hope for someone like me who also lives in the Countryside at the moment. LOL. Eish.

Mr. Gay South Africa™ 2012/13 Finalist: Jodian van Aarde

Mr GSA Finalist 2012/13, SMS GSA7 to 40439 in order to vote for Jodian to be Mr Gay South Africa 2012/2013. R2per sms. Free minutes do not apply. Only 50 sms votes per phone allowed per day. T’s & C’s apply

Name: Jodian Van Aarde
Age: 24
What Job does he do?
Banker by day and a Dancer by night.
Where does he live?
Randburg, Jozi

Jodian captures the Soul of a Coloured person quite beautifully and with no shame. I have had many moments reading jodian’s Blog posts where I would get all sorts of weird stares from other office staff as I was whipping out those LOL’s!

I of course Love your use of Coloured Language, it’s hilarious and downright witty! What would you say to a very conservative person who reads your blog and has objections to your use of Language?

“I go by the rule: ‘You do not have to accept another’s opinions, views or life, however you will respect it” positive connotations though, that being said I need to extend the same courtesy. Thus, if a problem arises because of the linguistics used in my blog then the choice remains that of the individual to stop reading. I profusely reiterate how proud I am of my heritage; the language used is to showcase reality and that I proudly embrace it. If any direct offence was taken, I humbly apologise for that. Writing has become a very evident part in my life, verbosity being the gremlin to everyone’s ear.”

Extract from Jodian’s Blog post “Chicken Livers en n’ Coloured Auntie”:

“I am an individual whom in this day and age still succumbs to the hardships of the real world – as a male of ethnicity and gay as a Jacaranda, baklei ek steeds vir my plek by die werk en gemeenskap. My loop, stem, glimlag en gedrag was altyd na tyd deur ‘n shredder machine gemoer. Thus I don’t deserve it more than anyone else or believe that I am entitled to it, rather that I will push as hard as possible staying true to myself, if that wins it for me then brilliant – it’s what got me as far as being a finalist.”

Jodian’s Struggle to find his place in his community and work reminds me of my own struggle. We all as part of the LGBTI community have our challenges, diverse though, for some it’s a struggle to survive and make ends meet. For others it’s a battle just to stay alive and safe and for some it is to get the same recognition of their rights as others.

Has the idea of keeping a blog well into the future stuck with you?
What do you think can be achieved with writing a blog?

“Continuing with the blog is a very real reality, and can either be a blessing or a curse and I choose the former. Constructive, informative and noted humour will be the continued building evolution blocks. I basically get to say whatever I want, a feeling of freedom I won’t even trade for a pair of designer Slip-On’s.”

Extract from Jodian’s Blog post, “The Good, The Bad and the seriously Coloured”
“My ma het regtig haar gat af gewerk om seker te maak ek shine ook in die straat, maar slegte gedrag het bedoel ek dra weer volgende maand klere van Ackermans af en nie Woolies nie. My pa was ‘n groot ding op hoërskool, en is nog steeds daai “old skool” toppie wat sy bottle Grants geniet en rustig regeer – maar ek wed jou, mors met hom en jy sal dit so regret.”

Jodian, your Partner, Mom and “future Mother in Law” (LOL) were sitting together with us at the Mr Gay SA 2012/13 Gala dinner and Auction. By the looks of it you seem to have a very special bond with your Mom.

How has your Mom contributed to or impacted on your development as a Gay Man?

“I, Jodian van Aarde am audaciously a “Mamma’s Boy”. I am a kaleidoscope of my mother, the sacrifices, blessings, prayers and constant support has become the mixture that is me. We are extremely comfortable with one another; I mean to this day she still asks me about everything happening in my life, even intimacy – that comfort builds trust and a sense of reliability. I love her so much, I know the blow was hard with me being gay – but she has fully supported me. That much love and acceptance builds character. I am a man in my own right, my own struggles and achievements; my parents, family and those close to me have seen me becoming the unique and quirky guy I am today. My mother has been my pillar and to her I am grateful and owe everything; she is the only one I truly want to make proud and my tenacity comes from her. Because she was and still is my superhero, I can stand as a man because of her.”

Beautiful! I think a lot of people in our community have that special bond with their Mothers. Our Mom’s have that unconditional love for us since the day we are born and that never leaves us even when we go jumping, crawling, hopping or skipping out the closet! That intuition of a Mother towards her child is so strong. Even before we told our Mom’s who we really are she already knew long, long ago. Here’s to our MOM’s!

Jodian’s Short Story
“I have always seen most things I do and live through as a paradox and hyperbole, one long poem where positive and negative repetition build my story to where it is now.

Luckily for my parents I was an athlete, no interest in Spice Girl shoes or make-up. Growing up between Cape Town and Johannesburg, personal attachments became taboo; it ought to be expected when seven schools and two provinces played table tennis with me.
 I was physically very masculine but a nerd to the core, spent more time on the sport field and library than at home; yet I lived my life in constant avoidance of ridicule, ironic as I was well accepted once my bubble popped. Living on your own since teenage years means your exposed to the world faster, snickers and sneers from the wilfully ignorant, happy as a lark but the outside audience perceives it as being a flamboyant gay person – which is apparently a problem. Ever noticed how others in the LGBTI community judge and discriminate against you, much like those who feel being gay is a sin and this all because you live your life as yourself and not a visage of some imaginary gay super bitch. My problem in the LGBTI community, is that we don’t support one another enough but we expect acceptance from everyone else. I don’t walk around with a halo, had my moments but it really hurts being rejected.
Graduating and turning 21 were two intense times, as those close to me were profusely proud and wholesome acceptance became a reality – when you’re considered educated, an adult and not just the gay son.
Proudly a mommy’s boy I walk the title like Naomi Campbell at her best – she had done so much for me, no worries because super mom is there. My entourage: Best friend & Bro’s, Venda Princess, Indian Aunty, Kin Gee and tons more, no names mentioned but a pseudo for each of my loved ones.

Being gay should be your blessing, I lost part of my dreams due to fear of rejection – so follow your heart and live free. Poke, Deuces”

What does “Poke, Deuces” mean at the end of each of your posts?

“Poke = Get your attention, and Deuces= Respect. So it’s like saying: “Hey world, Work that respect.”

So this I think is Jodian’s signature of respect. He is expressing his individuality and showing the original being he is meant to be. In the “cookie-cutter” society we live in it is quite refreshing to know that there are people out there who want to show the world who and what they are and not be afraid to do it.

Jodian, I am now very curious, what dreams did you “lose” as a result of fearing rejection? What can you suggest be done about the lack of support towards each other in the LGBTI community? (I do tend to agree with you, not everyone is supportive)

“The arts, specifically dance was and remains deeply embedded. I say lose, because I felt I lost a part of myself by not full heartedly pursuing it from the start. I was afraid I would be perceived as gay, obstinate towards my parent’s goals for me and as naïve. The fear surmounted my time in the arts temporarily, but it also grew me, I achieved in the financial industry. I came to a point where I felt, enough! I actually left my growing corporate career and danced full-time, I went on to winning a Hip Hop championship, appearing in commercials and the Bok Jive music video – I still yearn to make it too a full stage production, all in due course.
I felt I deserved that opportunity and if the chance arose I would not change anything – because that would mean changing the person I am; forgetting principles learnt and I might not be the fuzzy ball of structured insanity those around me have come to know. Pessimism comes standard in life; those who rely on it only become a stepping stone for the achievers. I believe that; if I and those who share my sentiments continue to excel, respect and live not just survive, then those unsupportive and corrosive cliques and communities will end up placing admiration and support ahead of anything else.”

Most importantly what did you learn about yourself, Jodian, now in the time you have been involved with Mr. GSA?

“For one, I didn’t know I could actually write and people would be interested in what I had to say. My confidence levels shot through the roof couldn’t imagine my body being exposed for public interrogation as it has been – I can imagine my grandmothers face seeing me in revealing swimwear. Honestly, participating in Mr GSA has shown me how little I actually did for the LGBTI community; life is not always about you and your insecurities and battles. People are being bullied, hurt, murdered out there and I’m worrying about a pimple – I haven’t felt more selfish and helpless ever! There is so much to do and help with – I should be slapped with a cheap push-up bra for saying: “I’m bored.” However, the exposure, charity and everything else we partake in has evolved me so much that there is a visible difference. I love that those, who were very uneducated about the LGBTI community grew with me, even my father has started showing signs of ceasing gay ignorance hibernation. I am so much stronger and resilient than I thought I was, more confident, sentimental and ambitious. I have met amazing individuals who I would normally have passed in everyday life because I’m apprehensive of uncontrolled situations; I embrace it now.”

What I have learnt from Jodian:
* Never apologise for who you are especially when you are yourself.
* No matter who or what family is important.
* By being yourself you remain an original.
* If I want to pursue a dream then I mustn’t be too scared of the sacrifices I need to make for it.

If you want to know more about our “Gay as a Jacaranda” friend Jodian, you can take a look at his great blog here: www.mrgsafinalist.co.za/jodian

Thank You to Jodian! I seriously hope he keeps on writing as he creates some profoundly entertaining blogs!

Mr. Gay South Africa™ 2012/13 Finalist: Steve Williams

Please vote for Steve to be Mr. Gay South Africa™ 2012/13
SMS the code GSA11 to 40439
Each sms costs R2. T’s & C’s apply, free minutes do not apply.

Name: Steve Williams
Age: 37
What work does he do?
Internal Audit Manager in the banking industry.
Where does he live?
Joburg but originally from Western Cape.

Asking the Questions for my Blog post for Steve has been a real roller-coaster ride of emotional ups and downs but it was worth it. Steve is from an older Generation of Gay men and has a lot of wisdom to share with us from his experiences as a Gay Man.

Do you think that being older than the other contestants and having more years in the LGBTI community provide you with a competitive edge?

“I hope so. I am 37. with the second oldest candidate being 28.
Being older, I have been through a lot in my life (personally and within the community) – I had my heart broken a few times; I went through my own coming out experience as well as friends’ experiences; I was retrenched and was unemployed for a few months; and I had deaths in the family, mostly due to cancer (that is one of the reasons why my charity is CANSA). I believe this provides me with the necessary understanding and knowledge of many situations people are faced with. By drawing from these experiences, I believe that I can help people and also be a role model – for people both inside and outside the LGBTI community. I am more mature and level-headed than I was many years ago, therefore I believe I am in the right space to take on the responsibilities of Mr. GSA.”

If you win the Mr Gay SA Contest is there a specific issue in the LGBTI community that you want to “tackle” which would need the kind of influence of the Mr. Gay SA title?

“Currently we still experience numerous cases of bullying, discrimination and homophobic hate crimes, such as corrective rape and murders. I believe that the root cause of this is the ignorance and lack of knowledge of what a gay person really is. This results in a general misconception and negative perception of what or who gay people are.

We are told by some people that being Gay is “unAfrican”. We are told that it is “unnatural” for a woman to love another woman, for a man to love another man. We are told that we can choose our sexual orientation and lifestyle. We are told that we can “fix” the “problem” by making a decision to change.

The reality is that no person has a choice about his or her sexual orientation, just like no one has a choice as to how tall one is or the colour of one’s eyes.

Unfortunately, ignorance and lack of knowledge manifests in the bullying of LGBTI members, various forms of discrimination and hate crimes against our community. In order for us to resolve these problems and issues, we need to address the root cause.

I believe that the title of Mr. GSA provides one with the necessary platform to be heard. When you stand up to speak, people will listen. Others will also learn from your actions and examples. I want to use this opportunity to educate others about our community.

This platform will allow me to break down the misconceptions; that gay people come in all shapes and sizes, in all attitudes and outlooks; in all characters. I want to show them that we have a diverse community and that we should not be stereo-typed. In other words Gay men and Lesbian women are just like the world in general. There is just one difference – only one difference. We have a different sexual preference.

This will change the way others react to our community and bring forth greater acceptance.”

I decided to Go really “Oprah” on Steve with what would seem like a very personal question but he took on the challenge quite well:

This might be a very uncomfortable question but how has being retrenched and losing loved ones to Cancer changed your outlook on life? How did it change you, if at all?

“It is very difficult to know yourself when all is going well. I believe that one gets to know yourself a lot better when you experience your darker moments. When you are retrenched and not able to find other employment, you start questioning yourself. You question your abilities. I was there. Once I got to the point where I was questioning and doubting myself, it was more difficult for me to do something about my circumstances. I just did not feel like looking for a way out, as I started believing that there was no way out. What made things worse for me, was the fact that I still had payments to make for my car and bond, I still had to buy food. For the first few moths it was not a big issue for me, but after a few months of not receiving a paycheck, this was another big issue pulling me down. After a while I did not go out anymore or even wanted to see my friends. I really closed myself off. I was heading straight for depression. There were days when I did not know how much more I was able to take.

My turning point was when I realised that I was not the problem, but that I was looking for a solution in the wrong place. I was living in Cape Town at the time (where I grew up) and thought I would never leave the city. I decided that I had to find a job elsewhere. I applied for a position in Johannesburg and was successful. I realised that the universe (and God) was pushing me in the direction and towards the place I needed to be. Since moving here, I have grown so much. What I have learned from this is that I am much stronger than I thought I was. It has made me realise, that no matter what our circumstances, we can do something about it – but it starts with a conscious decision to make the change. I have learned that doubt is the absence of trust – and that I should always trust, rather than doubt, myself and God.

It is never easy losing loved ones in any way. The problem with cancer is the lack of knowledge, causing very late detection. The earlier you detect the cancer, the greater the chances of survival. In all our cases it was detected late and my loved ones (grandparents and sister-in-law) were reduced to shells of the former people they were. It was very difficult to see them suffer, to see them shrink away. You also notice the physical changes due to the treatments – hair loss and swollen face to mention a few. It is not easy having to carry them around or feed them, as they are not capable of doing these things on their own. What broke my heart was that my nephew never really knew his mother, as he was 4 months old when she was diagnosed, and 3 years old when she passed away.

But through all of the sadness, we had to do our best to stay positive and hope for the best result. Not only for our dear ones that were ill, but also for each other. This was not always easy, as it is so easy to become despondent when things do not turn out the way you want to. In the end it was better to see them go, as I knew that their pain and suffering came to an end.

All of this has also taught me acceptance – knowing that no matter what, everything is and will be just fine!”

Steve’s answer really touched me to the core. Tears rolled down my face as I read it. Many people, myself included, can relate to his story about losing someone close and facing hardships.

Ok so Kleenex Aside, runny Mascara cleaned and powdered up again I thought let’s have some fun and ask Steve about age and looking good, I mean he really does look good and has the body to prove it!

How on Earth do you manage to look so good for your age? What’s the secret? Exercise, Eating healthy, having a great outlook, yeah I get that but please tell me something interesting about staying young?

“Like most things in life, it is really about your attitude. My attitude is to have a balanced life.

I do have a healthy diet and exercise regularly. But not only do I look after my body, I look after my spirit and my mind too. And I surround myself with positive people – as negative people and energy can break you down, mentally and eventually physically. And I try to laugh as much as possible!

See, by just having a positive outlook makes someone younger at heart even look younger.”

Talking about looking younger I decided to get really mischievous and ask Steve if he ever had “work” done on himself. You know, a nip here and a tuck there. Steve assured me that he has never had any plastic Surgery done on himself and is shocked when he sees young 20 somethings having their First Botox.

In any case having the chemical equivalent of a neurotoxin injected into your skin really loses it’s appeal once you find out what it does: It paralyses your face. Hence the reason why so many “older” Hollywood stars seem to be suffering from that “frozen Face” Syndrome.

In the LGBTI Community and even more so with Gay men out there the quest for staying young is an ever increasing dilemma. You get some people who have had so much Plastic Surgery that when they smile their toes wiggle. What do you think about ageing gracefully (in appearance)? Where do you think the line between age appropriate and staying young begins and ends? What would you for instance say to someone like a Bold and the Beautiful or Days of our Lives Soap Star who doesn’t look much older than when they started out 20 years ago?

“I agree that the community, especially gay men, are obsessed with perfection, youth and looking good. However, this is not limited or unique to our community. We find it everywhere.

When you page through fashion magazines, you will struggle to find a wrinkle or grey hair in any of the photos, as they are usually photo shopped to death. All the models have porcelain smooth skin, without any pores or imperfections. Even the models in fitness magazines train and plan specifically for the day of the photo shoot. They dehydrate their bodies in order to appear as trim and toned as possible. This unfortunately creates an incorrect image of what people look like every day.

This is why there are so many people suffering from body dysmorphic disorder, bulimia, anorexia and other disorders. They strive to look like the models in the magazines, without realising that many of the models, if not all of them, do not look exactly like they do in the magazines.

This is why we see so many people going for plastic surgery to improve themselves. We see men going for calf and pectoral implants, women having breast enhancement surgery and people going for face lift surgery as if they were going to the supermarket to buy milk.

I believe that this crazy search for perfection is the cause of so many people’s unhappiness and society’s superficiality. On a daily basis we are judged on our appearance and sometimes find it difficult to fit in with certain groups, as we do not look a certain way. That is why people look towards “fixing” or improving the exterior in an attempt to obtain other’s approval and to fit in.

But what they do not realise, is that no amount of surgery will ever be able to take away their insecurities that caused them to have the surgery in the first place. Because wherever we look, there will always be someone else that is younger, has bigger or more defined muscles or a better smile. This is why so many of them go back for multiple surgeries, as they continue to compare themselves to others and, according to their measures, fall short.

What people fail to realise, is that we should rather judge people by their values and what they stand for, rather than the exterior. In this way, people will be able to connect to one another on a more meaningful level and inter-personal relationships will be less superficial.

Don’t get me wrong, I do believe that plastic surgery serves a purpose. It can be used for example to correct instances where people are born with a cleft lip or to improve the lives of people suffering from burn wounds. It should however not be used to fuel the fire of vanity.

I also believe that when you look good, you feel better about yourself. I do however believe that looking and feeling good should rather be achieved by a balanced lifestyle. One should not only look after your body, but also your mind and spirit. It is only when those three aspects of your life are balanced, that you truly can be happy.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with ageing gracefully. When you take care of your body by exercising regularly, eating a healthy diet, looking after your skin and making sure that you sleep enough, you can achieve this. Then there is also nothing wrong in taking pride with what you have received through hard work. The secret though, is to realise when your age has caught up with you and when your clothing for example does not suit you anymore. To see “mutton dressed as lamb” might be hilarious, but not when you are sheep on display.

To those soap stars that have not aged in 20 years I would say “get real”. No-one is fooled by the amount of plastic surgery that they have had. Nobody wants to be more plastic and artificial than human.

Everybody is meant to age, it is natural. “Our lines show that we’ve lived. If he doesn’t love you when you look like a map, tell him to hit the road!” (From the movie Connie and Carla)”

So there you have it Ladies and Queers! I agree with Steve it all boils down to being comfortable in your own skin.

What I learnt from Steve:
*  You learn the most about yourself when you go through the darkest times in your life.
*  Surround myself with positive people.
*  A positive attitude helps me to stay young.
*  If I want to do Plastic Surgery then it must be for the right reasons and not because I have insecurities about myself.
*  No matter what happens, everything will be okay, eventually.

You can Get To read more Wisdom on Steve’s Blog here:  http://mrgsafinalist.co.za/steve/

A big Thank You to Steve! I myself have learnt a lot from him. I really appreciate the fact that he was willing to open up his life with such honesty.

Going Back to our Pride Roots

Going Back to our Pride Roots is an African affair.

As part of a younger generation of LGBTI people I have always
thought that Joburg Pride is more like a Party with a Parade. Wrong.

People Dress up in as most detailed, outrageous and colourful outfits
as possible or dress down into wearing barely a shoestring, even if
certain people have pimples on their bums from over shaving the night
before in an attempt to get that “silky smooth porn star” look. Razor 1
Moffie 0. Game Over!

Over the years and much to my Naïve amazement I have discovered that
LGBTI Pride is actually much much more a Protest March for our rights
and not just a celebration.

Some Joburg Pride History
Have you heard of a Guy by the name of Simon Nkoli? If it wasn’t for this Pride fiasco I would only have discovered this fantastic and brave person much later.

Simon Tseko Nkoli was an anti-apartheid, Gay rights and AIDS activist in South Africa.

Nkoli became a youth activist against apartheid, with the Congress of South African Students (COSAS) and with the then United Democratic Front.

1983 he joined the mainly white Gay Association of South Africa (GASA) and formed the Saturday Group, the first black Gay group in Africa.

1984 he was arrested and faced the death penalty for treason with twenty-one other political leaders in the Delmas Treason Trial. This group with the likes of Popo Molefe and Patrick “Terror” Lekota would become known as the Delmas 22. While in prison he came out to his fellow inmates in a heated discussion on Homosexuality. In so doing he helped change the attitude of the African National Congress (ANC) to gay rights. He was acquitted and released from prison in 1988.

After getting out of prison Simon founded the Gay and Lesbian Organisation of the Witwatersrand or GLOW in 1988 which was non-racial. It was activists from GLOW who organised the first Gay and Lesbian Pride MARCH in 1990 with only 800 brave people.

Nkoli died on the eve of World Aids Day in 1998 and only months after the Johannesburg High Court ruled that the common-law crimes of sodomy and “commission of an unnatural sexual act”, as well as Section 20A of the Sexual Offences Act, were unconstitutional.

It is reading about guys like the late Simon Nkoli that has reminded me to get off my @$$ and do something for our community even if it means having a blog and being part of a organisation.

What would Simon Nkoli say about Joburg Pride as it is now? Why do so many people not know about him?

In one of Simon’s Prison letters I Found in the Booklet “Till the time of Trial” published by GALA it read:

“…I will do whatever I can to improve the standard of communication between gays of all races…”

Profound. Isn’t this one of the challenges we sit with in our community?

I think Joburg Pride should be one of the events where activists and activism is nurtured. Although it is our own responsibility to do our homework into our Pink Heritage isn’t it also the Joburg Pride organisation’s duty to remind us of what we have achieved so far? Most importantly, what we still need to accomplish? Isn’t it also the duty of Joburg Pride to instil a culture of activism in us? Wits University’s Gay and Lesbian Memory in Action (GALA) and a few other NGO’s can, with all due respect, only do so much. Joburg Pride reaches thousands of people in just one day compared to years of work done by a NGO to reach the same amount of people.

People like to forget the past because in SA it was an ugly one BUT we need to be reminded of where we come from so that we can know where we are going to. At Pride the next step only means going to the most talked about after-party. For the next year if I have to hear the word “VVVIP” coming out of someone’s mouth again, then my next Pride After Party will be at home with 2 Smirnoff Spins! LOL

So what is wrong with LGBTI Prides in SA?

– They are Too Commercialised i.e. a money making racket.

– The events are “depoliticised” and very little genuine activism is
engaged with.

– People who are new to Pride think it is just a Party and do not
realise the more serious side of the event.

– Lack of communication between organisers, NGO’s and the
greater public on all sides.

Don’t look now Honeys but we have been warned long ago about the
impending disaster that looms as a result of the “depoliticisation”
and commercialisation of LGBTI Pride. (Gosh that dictionary was not as
tasty as I thought no matter how much All Gold Tomato sauce you throw on it!)

Reigning Mr Gay South Africa, Lance Weyer, who himself is a politician and activist posted a blog on the website
www.queerlife.co.za at the beginning of 2012 and asked the question “WHY PRIDE?”

http://www.queerlife.co.za/test/iqueer-columns/lanceweyer/7461-why-pride.html

In a recent Debate on LGBTI Advocacy and awareness organisation
GLIBIT’s Facebook Group Lance commented:

“That said though, I do think 1 in 9 should have first approached the
JHB organisers, and then only if unsuccessful resort to “hi-jack” type
of tactics. All too often the SA LGBTI community fight with each other
and don’t work together. It’s very sad and has caused many LGBTI
activists to give up.”

This I can agree with 100%.
It has been said over and over, WE as the LGBTI people are our OWN worst enemy.

Security
Apparently Cars at Pride were smashed by Anti-LGBTI protesters. This
causes great concern for security.

Just one of the tweets I found:

“@musicflyG: Anti-gay protestors smashing up random cars @ #JHBPride
…seriously WTF!?!”

What one would like to see at Joburg Pride:

– Even Better Security

– Proper Crowd Management Especially on the Pride March and with the
Festival Venue itself.

Joburg Pride’s attendance number’s have increased hectically just over
the past few years and proper attention needs to be given to these
issues.

The Joburg Pride Petition
The Advocacy and Awareness Organisation GLIBIT has launched a petition, “Calling for Change at the Joburg Pride Organisation”

http://www.avaaz.org/en/petition/Call_for_change_at_the_Joburg_Pride_Organisation/

By carefully watching people’s reactions to this petition It seems the LGBTI community have divided themselves along racial lines into factions or Camp “camps”. On the one side those supporting the Joburg Pride Board and the other side those who support the 1in9ers.

Even the student organisation “LoudEnuf” at the University of the Western Cape under the guidance of the Gender Equity Unit have announced that they support 1in9 in their efforts with the following statement:

“LoudEnuf UWC supports the One in Nine Campaign

A Campaign that sought to disrupt the 2012 Joburg Pride parade to demand one minute of silence to remember those members of the LGBTI community who have been murdered because of their sexual orientation and gender expression.

Aluta Continua! Let the struggle continue!”

So it seems that whoever signs the petition are in support of the 1in9 Campaign although some people were against the way 1in9 had conducted their Protest.

Like I have said to Alan Edwards, Honourable Secretary of the ECGLA, this petition is more like an experiment. If many people sign the petition then it means that they support the fact that the Joburg Pride organisation and it’s Board needs better representation and that the actions of those board members involved with the 1in9 incident were uncalled for.

If few people signed the petition, well then that means that the Pride Board is fine as it is and that it was okay for Pride Board members to push their Black sisters around like they did (nnnot!).

Few people can deny being against 1in9 as the amount of people who have signed the petition has proven this point. In a recent report from Avaaz 625 people had viewed the petition and only 75 people had signed it. I rest my case (almost).

Some people would maybe go as far as saying that the petition comes out of the 1in9 Camp. Sorry, Wrong. It was my idea. What people don’t know is that 1in9 campaigners are not even talking to me. Pumla Gqola who is a staunch 1in9 campaign supporter subsequently blocked me on twitter after attempting a ‘twitterview’ with her in which I had mentioned Race as a factor which may have created more support for 1in9. Ouch.

Might People who are identified as having signed the petition just piss the Pride Board off? Nobody would mess with the Pride board by signing a petition which might cause possible inconvenience for them now would they? I mean the Pride Board decides who performs on the main stages, they decide who gets to sell what at the stalls in the community village or even to have a stall in the first place, they get to decide who can have a float at the Pride March. Every major LGBTI organisation, business, entertainers etc want a piece of that Pride Pie even if it’s just for advertising purposes. Decisions all made by a small group of 7 people? Wow, so much….Power.

Power given to them by the LGBTI community. Why must people be so scared of the Pride board? This small group is supposed to represent each and every one of us. Despite Joburg Pride being a registered organisation
Do they own the Queer community? No.
One more question, if people weren’t unhappy about not having their concerns represented then why did a group like 1in9 have to take such brave and extreme measures in the first place?

The Pink Rand
Big Sponsors obviously do not say much about this issue as they have been cashing in on lucrative advertising and marketing deals. The Pink Rand seems to be the one with the biggest voice here.
In fact the biggest role players in the Queer community are also mostly silent. Are they scared that they too may not have their spot on the Pride Stage next year? Silence is Golden or in this case, little pink Plastic tokens!

In my previous blog post I had written about the racial divide. It seems that on one side the whiteys support the Pride Board as they are mostly white and with 1in9 Campaigners black people support them because well, they are mostly Black or Coloured. So is this what it also boils down to? Support our same-colour brothers and sisters instead of the cause?

It gets complicated
Once again let’s call up the Joburg Pride Board Members AKA “The Magnificent Seven” who have recently received a baptism of Media fire:

Tanya Harford (Chairperson)
Fulvio de Stefanis
Samantha Durkin
Thami Kotlolo
Kerry McMaster
Jenni Green
Josef Talotta

By now, you must have realised something here? Most of the Joburg Pride Board
Members are White. No wonder 1in9 is accusing the Pride organisation
of being racist because it’s leadership doesn’t represent the
diversity of our Rainbow LGBTI Nation. Also You can’t just have the L and G
of LGBTI represented here.

Don’t you think it’s time the Pride Board got a little bit more
inclusive with more representation through transformation?

There is a much deeper level to this whole saga though:
If people do change their minds and decide to sign the petition then maybe they think the current pride board will be dissolved. That is NOT the intention of the Pride petition.

1in9 campaigners have made it no secret that they would like to take Joburg Pride Back to the City Centre where it was originally held. The current Pride Board has prevented this from happening.

According to feedback I’ve received from the Queer public the perception is that if Joburg pride is Run by activists then the Pride event may turn out a flop and that there may even be huge security concerns as Pride may once again be held in the city center which is far more dodgy now than in 1990.

So if people say activists aren’t necessarily good event organisers then in the same breath are event organisers good activists? Does an event organiser know how to properly highlight a concern or issue in the public eye like an activist can do? So what is needed here is balance, a bit of both. Professional event organising and proper, genuine activism.

So What is the whole deal with the petition then?

The petition serves to highlight concerns to the Joburg Pride Board to bring about the necessary changes so that activists are more involved and that there is better representation.
Although some may disagree, the intention of the petition was also to improve matters for the Pride Board’s activism dilemma and hopefully relieve underlying tensions in especially the Black LGBTI community.

Why must as many people as possible sign the petition?

If many people sign the petition then it obviously means that many people want change. Duh.

A possible solution
In my Opinion when comparing Joburg Pride with Soweto Pride there
needs to be a balance between activism and celebration, Parade and
March, Party and Protest Gathering.

For 1in9 to call for a full boycott of Joburg Pride is just silly and
will serve to sabotage an already successful event.

NGO involvement
Samantha Durkin:
“Every year we get tons of people who say they could do it better and
when we get together to organise it again, all these people disappear
and we don’t hear from them again. NGO’s are free to get in touch with
us, to engage, to get involved. Very few do…”

I do not think it’s just the responsibility of NGO’s to contact Joburg
Pride but also Joburg Pride who needs to contact NGO’s and focus on
building better partnerships with all NGO’s. By building better
partnerships Joburg Pride will be able to recognise concerns better.
An Annual General Meeting alone just doesn’t cut it anymore.

After the petition has been signed what can then be proposed?:

PLAN A – That the Pride Board expands to include more members and specifically that these members are activists and representatives from various organisations. Because the Pride Board cannot be too big, activists can be rotated each year to give other organisations a chance and most importantly to have a voice. To make each activist’s contribution to the Board even more valuable they must have previous experience of event organising or any aspect of event organising as such.

PLAN B – A committee of activists who work together with the Pride board could help but then there could be too much ‘apartheid’ and suspicion of each other’s activities. Nah, go with Plan A!

The activist Mark Heywood, who is the Executive Director of SECTION27 and an Executive member of the Treatment Action Campaign, wrote in his article in the DailyMaverick.co.za that “we need to demonstrate solidarity with the poor. But we also need solidarity within the gay community – as diverse as it may be.”

Link to the article:
http://dailymaverick.co.za/opinionista/2012-10-23-go-back-to-the-townships-the-shame-of-gay-south-africa

What do I take away from this?
At the next Joburg Pride I am going to be a proper activist and throw that racial division box away. Soweto Pride will be getting far more support from me! The townships are our new frontier in the struggle to have our rights recognised.

Regardless of whether any more people sign the petition, for now I would just like to sit and reflect on these matters as a new friend of mine has advised me, although not for long. Sooner or later change is required, Homophobes fear it, why must we fear it?

Joburg Pride 2012. No Winners here.

On 06 October 2012 a small group of Lesbians and Gender Non-conforming people from the Campaign “1in9” brought 20 000 Pride-goers to an
abrupt halt (sort of) in what will go down in SA LGBTI history as the group who “disrupted” the 22nd annual Joburg Pride.

I thought I could add my 5c and also get onto the Bandwagon for the whole 1in9 Campaign fiasco that happened.

Let me state CLEARLY from the beginning of this blog post that I choose nobody’s side as I think that both parties were at fault.

I am not going to try to describe exactly what happened as there are many sides to a story and then there is the TRUTH.

In any case this incident has created a storm on Social Networks; Radio; Print and gosh even on TV! All for the wrong reasons and this has caused much
embarrassment for the SA LGBTI community.

Below, however is a unedited video of what happened:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ugK3yazLwQ
and the E-News coverage – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYjp-xbdFS0

So now we have two sides of this whole Joburg Pride incident, both who may think they were right to do what they did.

Watching these two groups perform is like being at a Boxing Match.  Hope you brought your Popcorn and 3D glasses! :

Lesbians, Drags and Gentleboys in the one corner we have “The 1in9 Campaigners”!

So who exactly are these people from the 1in9 Campaign?

Statement from 1in9 Campaign’s Website

www.oneinnine.org.za

“The One in Nine Campaign was
established in February 2006 at the start of the rape trial of Jacob
Zuma, to ensure the expression of solidarity with the woman in that
trial as well as other women who speak out about rape and sexual
violence. The Medical Research Council (MRC) study on sexual violence
(2002) indicated that only one out of every nine rape survivors report
the attack to the police. This statistic prompted the name: “One In
Nine”.

“Over the past five years the
Campaign has grown as a coalition now comprising of 25 organisations
and individual members around South Africa. The Campaign uses multiple
entry points to advocate social change and maintains a strong, united
focus of putting women’s rights as a priority on the national
political agenda. ”

Below is a statement on Facebook for 1in9 Campaign by Ishtar
Lakhani on what they thought was going on:
https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=10151060982411430

It seems to me that 1in9 tried to attempt exactly the same moment of silence for our fallen LGBTI People held at Soweto Pride a week earlier (mostly organised by FEW empowerment, a women’s rights advocacy organisation working with Lesbian and Transgender people).

The difference between the attempt at a moment of silence at Soweto Pride and the attempt at Joburg Pride is that everybody knew what would happen and what to expect at Soweto Pride.

1in9 Campaigners have argued on Radio that they were very visible with their Purple T-shirts and Banners and “did not jump out from behind the buildings” as was accused of them.  Thing is, very few people knew who they were except for maybe the odd seasoned feminist activist. 1in9 Campaign members think themselves to be so well-known that everybody would know at Pride who they were.

Sorry, assumptions are the Mother of all F-ups.

I must admit that I didn’t really know a lot about the 1in9 campaign as I am also an activist who is still learning and growing into her activism role.

One Question:

How can one hold a “impromptu” moment of silence when 20000 people are in front of you and trying to push forward with the Pride
March? Plus having a banner with the dubious slogan: “No Cause for Celebration” as well as T-shirts that do not really mention the LGBTI cause specifically just adds fuel to the confusion fire.

According to the Buzz on Twitter, Pride goers thought that 1in9 activists were Anti-LGBTI protesters and were trying to stop the march!

“@Ed_theHead: @LindiweMl @NathanAdams1 @GayMenSA you will always get
the frakking homophobes who will never accept and will disrupt”

“@LindiweMl @NathanAdams1 The attempt of pride still going ahead in
spite of those ante gay shits makes it a success”

(Tweets from @GayMenSA)

1in9 had made many attempts to further disrupt the Pride March but with very little success as confused Pride goers just kept on walking right past (in some cases right over) their demonstration. Even the poor old Dummies they brought along were in on the action! This is one of the main concerns: They had
pissed off way too many Pride-goers to properly get their message across.

1in9 wanted to highlight challenges faced not just by township people but all LGBTI people in South Africa. There is no problem with that
BUT it is the WAY things were done that led to the disaster. It seems that the pamphlets that 1in9 handed out were about the only clear indication of their purpose.

“Gay Pride is political” by DipikaNathon Thought leader: www.thoughtleader.co.za/dipikanath/2012/10/10/gay-pride/

1in9 could have utilised their moment of silence to the maximum by using simple Marketing to get their message out there.

Suggested Things that 1in9 could have done better:

– Communicate with Joburg Pride Board

– Market their “Moment of Silence” to the greater LGBTI Public

There is a Snag:

– The problem is that 1in9 is also campaigning against the Joburg Pride itself (if not all Prides) for losing its political edge and becoming way too commercial.

Now I think maybe 1in9 couldn’t exactly tell the Joburg Pride Board or the greater public what they were planning as they may have faced being banned from the March due to the nature of their cause. 1in9 is against Joburg Pride itself, what it has become and the organisers who stand behind it.

comments I found by “ethekwinigirl” *:

“The kind of protest that One in Nine do is precisely NOT to be a part
of the march or to “approach Pride”. They plan to shock. They are
activists. It is very easy to stop 20 000 people. I have been in much
bigger marches. All the organisers needed to do was to call for a
minute’s silence; to put their egos away and realise that there is
more to Pride than Party.”

So what if 1in9 had actually put something on their banners like this?:

“We are 1in9 Campaign for the LGBTI people, let’s have a minute of
silence for our fallen brothers and sisters.”

Hmmmm *Scratches head in thought*

So basically, regardless of when 1in9 decided to show up their message and intentions had to be communicated far more clearly. Finish en Klaar.

Joburg Pride Board has suggested that 1in9 could’ve announced their moment of silence from the Festival stage like the moment of silence
for victims of corrective rape held at the previous year’s Joburg Pride event. 1in9 refuses to accept such a notion, their “signature” move is to
disrupt. By disrupting they got maximum effect and as a result a lot of attention for it which makes their campaign quite effective. Let us not forget, NGO’s are big business in SA even if they do not run for a profit.  People working for NGO’s still have salaries that need to get paid so the more attention an organisation gets the more funding.

1in9 have pulled off similar “disruption” stunts at other protest events like the Women’s Day celebration March. Same Banners, same tactics.

This whole incident is however a blessing in disguise for 1in9 as they have received unprecedented media and public attention as well as
influence for their organisation. So one would think: wasn’t this a publicity stunt? I mean Paris and Mizz Kardashian make sex-tapes,
Britney swallows someone’s spunk and Lady GaGa wears fake meat.  Everybody’s doing something outrageous for attention. So why not stop
20 000 angry LGBTI people in their tracks?

When Violence had erupted between the Pride Board Members, 1in9ers and LGBTI community members, 1in9 was by no means innocent as they had
retaliated to violent advances and even tried to gang up on people. I thought that 1in9 was against violence?

When I told my one Work Colleague about the whole Pride incident she asked me something profound:

“Aren’t you guys supposed to stand together?”

My point exactly.
AAAND in the Other Corner we have “The Magnificent 7” from The Joburg Pride Board!

Joburg Pride’s response to the One in Nine protest:

http://www.queerlife.co.za/test/gay-opinions/31-opinions/8083-joburg-pride-responds-to-protest.html

Statement extract:
“..One in Nine Campaign, had not attempted any communication with
Joburg Pride prior to the parade. This organisation subsequently
admitted that they made no attempt to contact Joburg Pride and planned
for the first point of contact to be on the road.”

Let’s think for a minute about what the Pride Board members’ first thoughts could have been when they saw the unidentifiable activists
lying in the road blocking the Pride march: that they were homophobes.  We live in such a violent society and I am not surprised that both the
Pride Board members and activists reacted violently although in no way does it justify the use of violence.

The reactions of Pride Management and Pride goers themselves were unacceptable regardless as the Pride March was supposed to be a
peaceful one. What made things even more worse was the incident of a motorbike marshal head-butting one of the
protestors. Joburg Pride board has apologised profusely for this but the emotional and physical pain still remains for the protester who
got assaulted.

Shouldn’t Joburg Pride start a new tradition? To observe a minute’s silence at the start of the March for all the LGBTI people killed?
What if Tanya Harford had decided to lie down in solidarity with her African sisters?

It’s too late to answer those questions now.

The Racial Divide
This whole incident caused racial tensions as well and has actually served to divide the LGBTI community even further.

Samantha Durkin, one of the Joburg Pride Board members, has highlighted the fact that more than half of the Pride march was
non-white. What I have noted and probably a lot of other people as well is that there are many African people who
arrive at the Pride festivities AFTER the march and so this phenomenon has partly been responsible for the increasing numbers of people attending Joburg
Pride each year.

My questions are as follows:

Is every white person attending Pride a racist?
Will there ever be a Joburg Pride where there aren’t any racists at all?

One cannot expect Joburg Pride to always be Racist free like sugar free
or fat free. When you look at the “fine print” there is usually
somebody hiding something.

The Joburg Pride Board has rejected any claims that any of them had made racial slurs.  The Racist and very hurtful remarks made by certain Pride goers however were uncalled for and made the situation worse. Comments were made in the line of: “Can’t they just go back to the townships?” as if to say black people have no Place at LGBTI Pride.

1in9 Campaigners have gone as far as complaining on Facebook and Radio that the fence surrounding the festival area is a symbolic and
physical “racial barrier” which divides the black people in Zoo Lake picnic area from the whites in the festival venue. Hard to believe, we all know that everybody mingles with everyone at the Festival venue.

The Festival venue it seems is just becoming too small for everyone to get in.
Alright, get a bigger venue? What if we move Joburg Pride Back to the City Centre where it was originally held? The difference between then and now is that of Safety. Personally I myself wouldn’t mind having the March in the city centre but if you got your “street education” in Jozi you wouldn’t set foot in that dangerous place as it is a humdrum of criminal activity.

A very reliable source who calls himself the “Gay Observer” has revealed some interesting info regarding 1in9:

“The driving force behind the ’1 in 9′ campaign is a veteran activist
Carrie Shelver – who is white (it is her holding the bullhorn at some
stage in the video).

She is also a past chairperson of Pride herself – in the late 90s and
forced Pride through Hillbrow, and Jhb CBD when the majority of
attendees did not want to go that route, mainly due to safety
concerns. Shelver was also part of the Pride organising committees of
the late nineties and early 2000s who left Pride with huge financial
losses. She is well-known for stirring up racial tensions. Since the
new Pride Board registered a non-profit company in 2007, Pride has
turned around, is financially sound, attended by many more non-whites
as ever before and in the words of Emily Craven in her Master’s thesis, and one of Shelver’s
supporters, “stable” for 6 years – something unknown before. Shelver
was also behind the protests to move the whole of Pride to Soweto.
From that Soweto Pride was born, which is not very well attended (less
than 1000 people).

She has a gripe with the success of the new Pride board and this is
the result thereof. ”

OUCH! So it seems 1in9 might have more than one chip on its shoulder.
I’m now very confused as to what colours the pot and the kettle are?
Maybe the one is Pink and the other Purple?

Was the protest also used by certain people to show the underlying “beef “ they might have with the Joburg Pride Board?

The Reason for Soweto Pride being so small is that it doesn’t nearly have the resources that Joburg Pride has and is a far more political March.

In the end nobody won this showdown. It seems that both parties have knocked each other out. “KO Game Over” like they say in PlayStation Games, but this is real life and far more dangerous.
Despite Joburg Pride Board stating that they fully support 1in9, both they and 1in9 need to get together to “kiss and make up” although that
might be complicated. So let them just make up and not make out! Hopefully both these groups will invite each other to talk things out and ACCEPT that invitation. These two groups need to properly understand and recognise each other’s struggle
and concerns to find the path to reconciliation together.

What I take away from this fiasco:
Black LGBT people are experiencing some of the worst forms of violence, hatred and aggression towards them especially in the
townships and even more so in Rural areas.
Despite White LGBTI people facing homophobia themselves they are in a bit of a comfort zone and need to recognise and support the plight of
our fellow African LGBTI people.
Our African Brothers and Sisters really need our support, protection, compassion, encouragement and most of all LOVE in all its forms.

Change needs to come to the Joburg Pride organisation as it has lost its activism ‘soul’.The 1in9 incident has the greater LGBTI community talking and debating about what Pride as a whole should stand for and who should represent our concerns for these events.

GLIBIT, the advocacy and awareness network for the SA LGBTI community has launched a petition regarding Joburg Pride, take a look here:

http://www.avaaz.org/en/petition/Call_for_change_at_the_Joburg_Pride_Organisation/?cLgZcdb

*Taken from Africa is a Country website http://africasacountry.com

The Mr. Gay SA Gala Dinner, Charity Auction and the Announcement of 2012/13 Finalists!

Carla De Bouchet and Petrus Beets at Mr. Gay SA Auction.
Photos by Ryan Nicolas Lourens

The Mr. Gay South Africa organisation held its annual Gala Dinner & Auction on Friday 5 October at the very African Moyo Restaurant in Melrose Arch, the evening before Joburg Pride. Also happening on this evening was the big reveal of the 2012/13 finalists as they were announced for the very first time.

The charity auction raises the necessary funds to enable the Mr. Gay organisation to host the Grand Finale where the next Mr. Gay SA will be chosen.

Amongst the plethora of sponsors were Globeflight Travel; College SA; Wonderguy; True Religion; Mike Fisher from Michael Game Plan; Protea Hotels; Creation Wine Estate; Wonderguy; Bone Wear; Southern Sun’s Hyde Park Sandton and 54 on Bath; Club Travel; Tempest Car Hire; Nomndeni Lodges; Kat-Man-Doo Gay Male Resort; Top Hat Suit Co.; Jawy Hair Design; Chris Winspear Jewellers; David Gresham Records. So as you can see Mr. Gay SA has some serious sponsors.

Media partners: Gay Pages, Pink Tongue, Mambaonline. There were also
Representatives from SABC, RSG, Rapport and Sondag newspapers.

Mr Gay SA also announced on Facebook earlier: “It gives us great pleasure to announce that Pieter Rossouw of SaEvents.biz just confirmed that OLA and the Fireman’s Ball team will be attending the Mr.GSA Dinner on Friday night as our guests of honour.”
OLA is a DJ phenomenon who comes all the way from Sweden.

38 Lots of items were for sale and amongst the items that were auctioned off were:
weekends away, tickets to concerts, hampers, paintings, decor, hair- and make-up sessions, exotic island holidays, limited edition wines, CD collections, Designer accessories and clothing as well as Mr Gay SA collectors items varying in value from a mere 40 bucks to a whopping 25 000 bucks!

The auctioneer who calls himself “Rolo” Armer and the sweetest Real-Estate agent for Pink Estates is a Realtor for Sothebys International Realty who is both hilarious and very Gay!

My top 5 Auction lots at the Mr. Gay SA Auction:

5. One of the finalists sponsored a one on one dance lesson with him. This Closed at R550.
4. Lady Gaga (Cape Town) or Adam Lambert (CT & Jhb) tickets.
3. “My Wyn” assortment of wines by Jacoline Haasbroek. Just another wine? think again! Jacoline, a beautiful blonde lady who presses her grapes with her own feet and then makes exquisite saught after wines out of them. At a reserve price of R200 per bottle these are definitely no ordinary wines!
2. The most expensive item on auction sponsored by Rani Resorts via Anri Myburgh was a 5-star, 3 night stay for 2 people on Matemo Island off the coast of Pemba, Mozambique in a Luxury Beach chalet. Valued at R25000!
1. My absolute favourite item on auction was a pair of Bonewear undies worn by Lance Weyer to the Mr. Gay World 2012, beautifully framed and signed by Lance with a picture of himself, this was truly a collectors item for me.

Not exactly one of the most expensive items at the auction, it was reserved at R400 and to seal the deal my first ever item I bought at a auction closed for R500. Although I would probably have to eat mielie pap or dry bread and water for a month (just kidding), I felt that this collectors item was worth it as it reminded me of one of the most prolific icons in the SA LGBTI Community, Lance Weyer.

The Announcement of Mr. Gay SA 2012/2013 finalists:
All of the finalists were dressed in Wonderguy mens casualwear with blinged up and bold printed T-shirts and modelled Bone Wear as the other “Dessert” for the evening.

Each Mr. Gay SA contestant has a charity which he has chosen and would become one of the charities for which he would raise funds for if chosen as Mr. Gay SA.

As part of the intro to the new finalists each was given the task to produce a video to tell us more about himself, his work in the LGBTI community, personal philosophy and the charity he had chosen for Mr. Gay SA.

The Finallists in No particular order, of course, as well as some of the beautiful people who were seen!

Event Photos by Ryan Nicolas Lourens

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As part of the Contest the Mr. Gay SA finalists will be having a Breakaway week Safari for 4 days in Dullstroom, Flycatcher castle and the Kruger National Park.

Another one of the tasks assigned to the Mr. Gay SA finalists is the Selling of tickets to the Grand Finale which will be held at the brand new Atterbury Theatre in Lynnwood Bridge, Pretoria on 8 December.
Tickets are also available at Computicket or at the theatre.

This years finalists for the first time in history had a pair of identical twins, Rodney and Brandon, although they look the same these two dashing gentlemen each have something unique to bring to the Mr Gay SA competition, according to Coenie Kukkuk: “It is probably one of the 1st times in any country’s national Mr Gay competition that a pair of identical twins have both made it to the finals.”

You can join the Mr. Gay SA page on Facebook and follow the links posted there to each of the finalists’ blogs:
http://www.facebook.com/MrGSA or you can follow @MrGaySAfrica on Twitter.

People probably thought that I was being terribly rude for tapping away on my phone during the auction when in fact I was blogging the blue smoke out of my Blackberry as I didn’t have a pen to write with.

I decided that I was going to be very “journalisty” by interviewing some of the Mr Gay SA finalists. One moment I thought I was interviewing 3 guys and the next moment the boys had to go on stage to model their Bonewear. 13 hot and sexy finalists all of a sudden started to strip down to their undies. I of course conveniently forgot that I had a table to get back to and was basking in the beauty of such beautiful flesh!
I had asked one of the finalists if they were going to change into their undies but unfortunately they were already wearing them! LOL

Coenie Kukkuk had called out my name as being “A staunch supporter of Mr Gay SA”, as what is suppose to be good etiquette I had to stand up but couldn’t see myself as an equal of these other giants in the LGBTI community.

The most ironic part of this event was that for the first time I could meet both Coenie and Lance face-to-face. I went up to Lance after the auction and told him I was meeting him for the first time but had been fighting for him for months already after some blogging and facebook trolls had decided to attack both Lance and myself and obviously came second best. Moral of the story: do not mess with a Drag Queen especially one with a Aries Star sign.

I must say that I thoroughly enjoyed the auction as I got to meet and chat with some of the members of our greater Pink Family. The food compliments of Moyo was great and as always one got to learn more about our community.

What I took away from this event:
That Mr. Gay SA is far more than just a beauty pageant, it is a force that brings us all together. It remains relevant to us as it is one of the few events that brings some Beauty and Glamour in an otherwise dull and unforgiving “straight” world.

Soweto Pride 2012 and The Gay Flag of SA Team

Irish, Manika, Carla and Girlfriend!

Soweto Pride Poster and Some Soweto Royalty!

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TWO FRIENDS GETTING TO KNOW THE KASI

My friend Irish, a very good friend of mine came along to ‘cupparize’ me to the Pride festivities. He had never really been to Soweto and I was just getting the update on the place I was also still getting to know where my African Mother Mme Seipati lives in “Deep” Mapetla.

Soweto Pride’s theme for this year was “Enforcing Our Existence: Giving Homophobia the Red Card” and was held close to the Credo Mutwa Cultural Village in Soweto. Activists and Volunteers had been working feverishly to put up posters around Soweto to promote the event which took a lot of effort and determination.

This Pride which was started in 2004 by the NGO FEW (Forum for the Empowerment of Woman) from the onset had more the feel of a Political Protest March than anything else but isn’t that traditionally what Pride is all about? Giving the people out there a strong statement on your rights!

Some of the organisations that were there was the SA Red Cross Society(who have one of their branches in Soweto), FEW Empowerment, Love Life, Gay Flag SA, Passop, Limpopo Pride Organisation, Transgender and Intersex Africa and of course OUT LGBTI well-being.

The Team from Gay Flag of SA’s National tour arrived in their bus to entertain and make the Pride bigger and “Gayer” than even imagined with their colourful Gay SA flag inspired outfits and scattering the place with Gay SA Flags.
Some of the GFSA team members include Henry Bantjez and Eugene Brockman, both the founders of Gay Flag SA the Organisation and Eugene being the designer of the SA Gay Flag. Lola Fine, the Indian Goddess who is one of the most photographed Queens in South Africa. Genevieve Le Coq , now based in Joburg who is a beautiful Drag personality and activist in her own right where she and Monique Walker helped to arrange Joburg protests earlier this year against Homophobia. Other team Memebers were Ivo Leo and winners of the National competition for candidates to go on the tour Leon Erasmus, Odidiva, and Adonis.

Gay Flag of SA, sponsored by Budget Car Rental who are currently on a 5000 km National tour with their very Queer bus supported the March. With their theme “I am African” their. Campaign aims to reconcile Gay Rights with traditionalists.

Earlier this year Marches had been organised throughout SA to protest the Request by Chief Pathekile Holomisa from the traditionalist organisation CONTRALESA and chair of the Constitutional Review committee to have the clause on sexual orientation removed from the Constitution.

A memorandum was handed to parliament and Gay Flag SA took the matter further by arranging a meeting with the ruling ANC party’s Western Cape ANC secretary, Songezo Mjongile, to release a strong statement against Holomisa’s intentions, Homophobia and the recent murder, rape and attacks on our community.

In a statement released by Gay Flag of SA:
“It was the combined hopes of these two organizations that this message would shift public perceptions to mutual acceptance and make it clear that hate crimes and murders will no longer be tolerated
(Even though the ANC was not visible at the event).” So there was NO ANC presence at Soweto Pride.

Safety
One of the First questions Irish had asked me when I had invited him was “I hope we don’t get beat up hey, it’s a township we’re going to”. With a recent attack by a robber who wanted to stab both my man and I with a broken bottle still fresh in my mind I took that step of faith and well, there were no issues.

It seems that despite the Joburg metro Police Department being very inept to show their support for Soweto Pride, the SAPS had stepped in and there was a strong police presence to keep the peace.

Hundreds of people, watched over by the cops, Marched down Mputhi street carrying posters and Cards with slogans like: “Love is a Human Right” and “My Blood Speaks of the Horrors You’ve Done to Me.” A circle was formed in the middle of the road next to a Huge SA Gay Flag and a minute of silence was asked. In a emotional plea to end homophobia, Rape,Violence and discrimination and in dramatic protest fashion, dolls symbolising Lesbians who have been murdered were laid on the road. Gay Flag of SA: “It was an act of bravery and resistance, and a key moment for this community.”

The Pride march ended at the Openheimer park where the Post-Pride festivities started where you could bring your camping chair, picnic basket, booze and buy some food or go through all the stalls for the different LGBTI organisations. If you were about to pass out from clearing out your cooler box the Red Cross was handy to give you First Aid, CPR or some Disaster management if you broke a nail! LOL

Irish who is an absolute fan of RiRi (Rihanna) was thinking of getting a Tattoo just above his knee just like the ‘R’ Rihanna got for herself. Now because he is not one for pain he had to settle for a Henna Tattoo which he got by Raymond the “Henna guy” at one of the Pride Stalls. So if people want to try out a tattoo that is something less permanent and won’t cause embarrassment later, like a goldfish that might end up looking like a dolphin, the Henna tattoo guy will be available at Joburg Pride . In so doing you don’t have to go to a dodgy tattoo parlour where just looking at the tattoo needles could give you a exotic flesh eating disease!

One of the Gay Flag of SA’s entertainers “Electra Lux” (Thabo Gaobuse from Mafikeng ) who is a acapella singer and Dancer impressed the crowds with his awesome moves.
One of my favourite Queens, Foxy Lopez Brown together with her show group “The Dancing Queens” strutted their sexy stuff on stage and goodness can they Dance! Goodness I wish I can split as flat as her but I’m nowhere near as elastic. Foxy is a professional dancer who does corporates. Also to be seen with her Dancing group was Lande, a recording Artist who really knows how to handle her heels! The Lesbian Duo Spilled Pink could also be seen rocking the stage.

Sooo when Irish and I were just about to go home we decided to go and pay Jabulani Mall a visit. As usual peoples’ eyes were popping out their skulls. I discovered to my orgasmic pleasure all the SHOE shops and boy oh boy did we drool over all the reasonably priced colour blocked heels! So Christmas, Guess where I am going shoe shopping? LOL

Irish’s Rihanna Tattoo

Close to Jabulani Mall we happened to stumble into this:

The Soweto Theatre

The Soweto Theatre! I had seen the theatre in magazines but as a designer I was blown away to just be in the presence of a gem of gorgeous architecture! Ok, you’d maybe think: “big deal, pretty building so what?” Well both Irish and I could agree that Soweto is starting to look more like a upmarket town than a “Kasi” (township).

What did I take from this event?
That Soweto Pride needs just as much support and marketing as all the other Prides in SA. I was welcomed as a memeber of the Family with open arms. All Queer people have so much love to give, It’s really time to unlock that Love. Mwah Mwah

Other Links about Soweto Pride on the Web
Joburg Metro Police Accused of Discrimination
http://www.mambaonline.com/article.asp?artid=6900

“Life in True Colour” Nelson Mandela Bay Pride and Queen of Pride 2012

(C)2012 Karl Schoemaker, all rights reserved — at Work at Play Photography. http://www.workatplay.net

 

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SLIDESHOW OF ALL THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE AT NMB PRIDE 2012!

Nelson Mandela Bay Pride:

Proudly Supported by GAYDAR Global Gay Dating, St George’s Axxess Park, Frontier Events, Above & Beyond, SAB, Red Bull and the community and Metro of Nelson Mandela Bay.

On Saturday 22 September 2012, Nelson Mandela Bay (A.K.A. Port Elizabeth A.K.A the Friendly City) hosted it’s second Gay Pride with the theme: “Life in True Colour”.
NMB pride invited our community in it’s campaign saying: “Join in the most colourful event of the year, dress up, or down and come show your true colours at the Nelson Mandela Bay Pride Parade. P.E. Pride is all about fun, charity and promoting tolerance of people with different sexual orientations.” The Very Colourful, Expressive and Diverse ‘Paint Fight’ Photography for this Campaign was done by Karl Schoemaker from Work at Play Photography ( www.workatplay.net). Despite the Weather being a bit homophobic NMB Pride had asked people to raid their stores for the brightest and most colourful umbrellas or even to make their own. Guess that would’ve made for one helluva Gay GLEE tribute to “Singing in the Rain”!!About 400 people kicked off the parade in Stanley Street and transformed the streets of Richmond Hill into rivers of colour.

Over 1000 people came together after the march at St. George’s Park Cricket stadium for the post pride fesival. Obviously there was no booze allowed into the festival venue (Damn, so no smuggling that ‘Papsak’ in your handbag!) as there was a Beer Tent, Wine & Champagne tent and Beer garden. Live music and DJ’s including international DJ D-VIANT created a dancing vibe of note to get people warmed up for the after-party.

The parade was FREE and Tickets for entry to the stadium were a mere 20 bucks to cover the venue & stage. Profits will go to NMB Pride 2013 & this year the official charity was Tru Colors, an organisation that offers schools a programme helping children to deal with awareness around sexual orientation and gender issues.
Will Jensen, one of the founders of Tru Colors:
“Pride went very well judged from a distance. Everyone had a good time!”Other acts Performing at NMB Pride
from 1pm until the closing was a Oh-so fabulous line-up which included:

New Afroteens

Little Poof
2Fierce
DJ Groovy Q
DJ Richard Saunders
Will Jensen (from Tru Colors)
DJ Bok                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     JD Mulder

Timone & Pumba
Danie Prinsloo                                                                                                                                                                                                                           Monique Walker                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Beyonce
And the Silver Screen singers: Riaan, Ewan, Leroy & Rita

The official NMB Pride After Party was held at club AQUA in the city’s North End.Our current Mr. Gay SA and Runner up Mr. Gay World whose ‘hood’ is in that Bay and who attended the Pride released a statement:

“The first NMB Pride last year was a phenomenal success and it was good to see that the organizers used that success to build a bigger and better event this year. The support from the “straight” community and media of PE was good to see and hopefully this event will go some way in uniting the LGBT community and creating tolerance and acceptance of LGBTs in general.”

NMB Queen of Pride:

The Queen of Pride pageant was held as part of the Nelson Mandela Bay Pride 2012 festivities. The pageant was held at the chic Hair Salon and Coffee shop ‘The B-Hive’.

Terry Tiger Victor, one of the local Drag Queens and owner of ‘The B-Hive’ was the organiser and hostess for this event which was held the Saturday before Pride. With a hefty number of Top Class Queens participating Terry said the event was a huge success.The judges for the pageant were very well-known Socialite and Model Monique Walker together with Photographer Thomas J Bekker and Hanro Manefeldt, Owner of Yello Lizard Design co. and one of the organisers of NMB Pride.

“Cooky Looky” also known as Jacques Claassens, when as a boy, won the pageant. The other two finalists or “Princesses” were Coco Caine and Rosie Climax.Cooky Looky and Mr. Gay SA were spotted together on a convertable at the Pride March.

Mark Olwagen and Keisha, the winners of Mr and Miss Aqua 2012 could also be seen at NMB Pride march.

Congratulations to the Winners of Miss Aqua 2012!
Miss Aqua 2012 – Keisha MyAss
1st Princess – Penny Tration
2nd Princess – CocoCaine

Mr NMB Pride was held on Friday & Saturday 24 and 25 August 2012.

For more Pictures on Mr and Miss Aqua as well as Mr NMB Pride,  you can go to:www.clubaqua.co.za

Feedback and Lessons I Learned from the Colloquium on Challenging Homophobia and Transphobia in SA Schools

Was so Lovely to meet both Justice Edwin Cameron and Genevieve Le Coq, a beautiful Queen!

On 06 and 07 September 2012 I attended the Colloquium on Challenging Homophobia and Transphobia in South African Schools. It was hosted by GALA (Gay and Lesbian Memory in Action) with partners Cert (Centre for Education Rights and Transformation), UNESCO and SAIH (Norwegian Students’ and Academics’ International Assistance Fund)

As this is just my account of this event it by no means can mention everyone and everything that was said.

In typical Drag Queen Style I was horrendously fashionably late for both days but luckily improved my “record” by an hour on the second day. I happened to almost become fashion road kill when I fell over on my sky high “stripper” heels which I had bought shopping in Joburg while waiting for my bus.

Here are a few interesting lessons I learned, knowledge I gained and the people I learned it from:

Lesson#1 Dr Tiffany Jones
New England, Australia

Tiffany is a strikingly beautiful woman who is obviously very passionate about the LGBTI community. She asked me to watch a doccie called ‘Paris is Burning’ which is about a transgender Community in the 80’s and 90’s. (Need to still watch it so it should be good!)

I learned from Tiffany that our country needs policies dealing with LGBTI issues on Provincial and School Level and must specifically mention Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity.

In Australia research has shown that 1 in every 3 Teenagers have had a same-sex experience.

To say that Teenagers do not have sex and do not experiment reminds one of that whole 1960’s or 1930’s or whichever stone age era mindset that your child is not Gay or Lesbian and is just going through a “phase”.

This is a remarkable finding as it shows that Teenagers experiment with their sexuality and that it is very fluid at this stage. Although the word “fluid” might be like really TMI for a teenager or in fact any other Gay, Lesbian, Transgender etc person!

80% of Bullying and Teasing happens inside Australian school grounds. Maybe the other 20% happens on the way home? Let’s not forget that Social Networks like Twitter and Facebook are used to bully LGBTI youths.

The most disturbing and quite Emo statistic was a comparison between the states of Queensland and Victoria in Australia. The amount of students who had thought of suicide, committed self harm like cutting and even attempted or committed suicide in Victoria was HALF that of Teens in Queensland. The difference: better school policies on LGBTI issues. You’d think that given a name like Queensland, this state would fare much better.

Lesson #2 Michael Barron from Ireland, Director at BeLonGTo.

The youth of our country can be mobilized to bring about change. We so often look at our own LGBTI community but how about making “straight” allies to foster and bring about change?

Celebrities can be championed as the face of a Campaign to make the Campaign more effective. Collin Farrell was asked to be the champion of one of BeLonGTo’s campaigns but didn’t renew his commitments once the campaign ended. Maybe he feared being seen as Gay? Well us Queers would definitely not mind him joining the Family!

YouTube is an excellent platform to create awareness. A YouTube video made by BeLonGTo called “Stand Up” received 1 million hits and Ireland has roughly a population of close to 6 million people!

I so wanted to chat more with Michael as his work is very similar to mine: awareness, but time just didn’t allow it so now it’s up to the internet to network with him.

Lesson #3 Dalene Van Dyk, Out LGBTI Well-Being

Dalene introduced herself as a professional Dyke, hence her Surname Van Dyk. She also told us that holding a Fallic object like a mic close to her mouth made her actually very nervous. True Story.

From her we discovered that yes there is Training for teachers on LGBTI issues out there ( a big word called sensitisation) which had recently been sponsored by SADTU (South African Democratic Teachers Union) but there is a lack of funding to get it to enough teachers.

Lesson #4 Dr. Abraham Chupe Serote. Deputy Director of Social Cohesion and Equity in Education. Department of Basic Education

We all know by now that schools and the Department of Education do not really have policies on the whole LGBTI matter and Mr. Serote could at least admit that. Mr. Serote unfortunately had very little if not zero to bring to the table with his speech but what was promising was that he looked young and open to ideas. Before leaving he had asked for any material on the matter so that maybe a process of some sort could begin to create and implement policies and to try to change perceptions.

Lesson #5 Jillian Carman, Honorary Research Fellow, Wits School of Arts:

If you don’t really know Jillian (like I did) then you’d think she is a kind middle aged lady you’d have tea and polite conversations with. Well, I was slightly wrong, she would have tea and polite (yet astounding) conversations about the artist Stephen Cohen, anything but conservative!

Steven Cohen is a very prolific SA artist now living in France who has taken artistic concepts to the extreme.
He actually makes me jealous with those fabulous high heels he wears and that Chandelier he wore for one of his performances still makes me green!

His work has now been removed from public schools’ Art Subject Syllabus. So lets just call that State sponsored homophobic censorship. Private or independent schools still have his work in their syllabi. It is a pity as Cohen explores extremes with a vivid transgender theme underlying most of his work.

Lesson #6 Sibusiso Kheswa, Gender Dynamics

Sibusiso has the Gender Identity of a man and does a very good job of it! I had asked him if I should call him ‘Sisi’ (Sister) or ‘Buti’ (Brother), the answer was actually obvious! So this was a hands on experience in good ‘Traniquette’.
Often even in our Own communities we need to respect the gender identity that someone associates with.

#ThatAwkardMoment when you meet a Drag Queen with a moustache? Never, ever, EVER call her a he, him or his!!!!

Lesson #7 Themba Interactive Theatre Company, Directed by Warren Nebe.

A very powerful and interactive theatre production written by the young actors themselves.

It’s a story about a “skatane” Lesbian girl in a township who is in competition with a duo of very homophobic young men to see who has the best and most expensive clothes. (However two Sandton Moffies in Rosebank can turn out just as vicious!) One of these young men who goes by the nickname of “Casanova” rapes the girls girlfriend while it is being video-recorded by Casanova’s friend.

What makes this production interesting is that the audience could ask the characters (not the actors) questions. One of the most haunting questions and answers was when an audience member asked “Casanova”, (who had just raped the Lesbian girl) : “How did you feel after raping that girl?” where he answered: “Let me just correct you there, I did not rape this ntombazana, I did a Correctional service to my community.”

What adds to the shock is that the play’s narrator mentioned that when they took this production to a high school, the Grade 9 pupils were CHEERING on when the rape scene of the Lesbian girl was occurring.

Despite the rampant homophobia that these very brave actors have encountered in taking their story to the public one can see that Drama can definitely be used as a interactive tool to get the message out there.

Personally this small production had really brought the issue on Corrective Rape home, like waking up in a stranger’s bed. I had never seen or encountered a situation where someone was being raped so this story had really made me think hard about it.

Warren Nebe, the Director, had told the audience that there was a missing character who could bring the story together. I went to him after his talk and told him I thought who better a character than that of a teacher? I mean isn’t that one of the roles of an educator? “Pastoral” and counselling?

Lesson #8 Youth Workshop

Although there were 3 other workshops that one could attend, time only allowed everyone to choose one.

Why I chose the Workshop on Youth was because the South African Youth have a lot of energy that can be harnessed to make a powerful statement for change and this was the main theme of the workshop.

Issues in schools that came up were:

–      Taking a same-sex partner to a. Matric farewell.

–      having boys and girls bathrooms and making learners stand in two lines, one for boys and the other for girls.

–      Teasing and bullying often being fuelled by teachers.

–      School Uniform being biased according to gender.

–      Transgender learners being able to wear the clothing of their choice on civvies day.

Possible projects that could be brought about in schools:

–      Educating School Governing Body, Parents, School Management Team and teachers even before doing LGBTI awareness with Learners.

–      Having displays in school libraries or “public areas”

–      Campaigning for same-sex partners to be taken to matric farewells.

–      Utilising art in the form of murals, school courtyard art displays etc. to bring awareness into the everyday environment.

–      Doing small drama productions which create awareness.

To make our Workshop more interactive we did a small flash mob and play of scenarios on issues and then how these scenarios should have played out ideally.

With the scenario that I was in I played a nasty school principal with her reading glasses perched on the tip of her nose and a steely look of zero-compassion. It clashed terribly. A Drag Queen with Bitch-brille, heels and a very lady-GaGa like Pleather glove on one hand. Imagine Lady GaGa being principal of a school for a day? Sexy I think. LOL

Lesson #9 One of my personal highlights was meeting Justice Edwin Cameron from the SA Constitutional Court. Justice Cameron, a very unassuming and humble person gave such a powerful speech that really moved me.

Lesson #10 Matshidiso mofokeng and Manika, my new chomees of from FEW (Forum for the Empowerment of Women) and I almost started a Flash mob but I was drinking juice and my party engine wasn’t  started yet (fine, let’s not give the juice the fault!).

The Ladies from FEW told me about the relatively unknown news that they had taken a Soccer Team to the World Out Games and came 5th overall. Only after the Colloquium It dawned on me how SPORT can be used as a way of bringing all sorts of people together, both LGBTI and Straight.
I thought this would definitely be something to look into! I mean look at what the Paralympics did for the disabled? Smashing stigma to bits.

I really hope that there will be another Colloquium next year as it was an event that united our LGBTI community for the better. Myself included learnt a lot, so lets see if I can be there next year giving feedback on projects.

The next question is: What are you as the person out there going to do about LGBTI issues in schools? The Rape and Murder in our Communities?
You do not have to do something BIG, even the smallest acts of protection, support and kindness to a fellow LGBTI person could be what saves that person’s life.

Think about it. Mwah Mwah

Also got to meet one of the organisers of the Colloquium, Gabriel Hoosain Khan,such a gentle Person!